Jennifer & Eduardo

8 Weeks Down

2012-02-16T07:06:00.002-06:00

Yes, we are still alive and no, I have not lost all contact to the outside world. I know I have been a little blog absent lately, but who can blame me?

Things are finally starting to calm down and I don't feel like a walking zombie 99% of the time like I did. Phew! It's true what they say that nothing can prepare you for a newborn. You can have all the necessities, you can buy books, you can get weekly updates from every website out there...but until you're into the thick of things, you really don't know.

The first 4 weeks were especially difficult, I had a very severe bout with postpartum depression. It hit me fast and hard. I thought I was coping with things really well, but it turned out the combination of hormones, not being on my anti-anxiety meds (that I have been on since I was 18), along with sleep deprivation led to me having some bad thoughts of hurting myself. It scared me because I've never thought that way before. I told my mom what was going on and she immediately rushed me to the ER. Let me state for the record, I never tried to hurt myself and I never had any thoughts of hurting Landry, I just felt I was incapable of properly taking care of her. They were irrational and scary thoughts, so I knew I needed help. Because of the thoughts I was having I was admitted to a "behavioral facility" for about 4 days. This really upset me because, let's face it, I was in a psych ward. I thought I would walk in and find people curled up in the fetal position, sucking their thumbs, and rocking themselves back and forth. That wasn't the case at all. I actually met some really cool people and walked away with some new friends. They got me back on my meds and helped me realize that postpartum depression is very real and very serious. I was beating myself up thinking, "I should be a better mother and get over these feelings." But I couldn't and that made things worse. I was also able to get a few full nights of sleep, which I know made a vast improvement. The hardest part of it all was being away from the baby. For her safety she was not allowed to visit me, which I understood why, but still broke my heart. Huge thanks to Edward, my parents, and brother & sister-in-law for being so amazing and taking great care of Landry.

I will not be going back to work for awhile. That was another part of my stress that I won't go into but I will say that everything happens for a reason. Edward got a new job where it looks like I will be able to stay home with the baby, for now anyway. I'm sure I will go back to work eventually, but for right now Edward and I both think this is the best place for me. I am finally adjusting to being home and learning that I sometimes have to force myself out of the house to avoid a little stir craziness. Like I said, EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

I know you all are wanting to see pictures, and I promise to get some posted soon. For right now, here is a cute one of Landry with my brother's kiddos Katelynn and Tyler - who I must say absolutely adore their baby cousin.

Landry ~ 1 Month

2012-01-22T16:55:00.003-06:00

Some interesting tidbits about little bit at one month:

~ When she smiles, she does it with her whole face, even her eyes.

~ She giggles in her sleep.

~ She sighs the cutest sigh after she sneezes.

~ She has amazing head/neck control.

~ Because of her amazing head/neck control she sleeps on her stomach (and longer)

~ She already fights sleep.

~ She can perform farts/burps that put a grown man to shame.

~ The bridge of her nose is the most kissable place.

~ She is squishy.

~ She has two chins and multiple thigh rolls.

~ She can comfortable wear 3-6 month clothes.

~ She eats anywhere from 4-7 ounces at a time.

~ She makes putting socks on nearly impossible by sticking out her pinky toe.

~ When she's ready to eat, by God there better be a bottle ready.

~ She loves to ride in the car (unless she's hungry).

~ She follows mommy and daddy's voices around the room.

~ She already has Daddy wrapped around her little finger.

~ She likes to hold your finger in her hand when she is eating or going to sleep.

Snug as a bug in a rug in her new blanket from my former boss at Verizon.

Her judgemental face.

Her happy face.

Check out that ATTITUDE

Awesome Parenting Moment

2012-01-12T19:40:00.003-06:00

Oh this is definitely one for the memory book...

Edward and I needed to get out of the house for a bit so we went to the mall to walk around. Landry did not want to cooperate so we decided it was time to head home. I climbed in the backseat with her to try and feed and calm her down. Edward wanted to stop at the gas station and run in to get a soda. While he was in the store I had my head down in her carseat trying to talk to her and console her (she was screaming bloody murder). I looked up because I saw someone walking around the driver's side of the car, I was sitting behind the passenger's seat. I could tell from all the gear on the belt that it was an official-type person. He was walking around long enough for me to comprehend it was a police officer. All of the sudden my driver's door open and he started to get in. I just looked at him and said, "Um, hi!"

Note to self, never scare a cop.

He jumped and looked at me like a deer in headlights. He said, "Oh, I'm oh, uh, sorry," and closed the door. I just started laughing. He climbed back in apologetically with a nervous laugh and said, "I'm so sorry, we've had a lot of issues with people leaving their cars running, and I saw the baby but I didn't see you, I thought someone left their baby in the car, I-I'm so sorry." I just started laughing and said, "No, I'm here, I was just trying to calm her down." He apologized and laughed again and said, "Ok, have a good night," and closed the door.

Edward came back out of the store a few minutes later and I was telling him what had just happened. He said, "Is that why he walked in the store laughing?"

I guess the police officer has a store to tell tonight too. God bless him for being so concerned. But as Edward said, "Man, you know he was fully prepared to arrest someone."

2 Week Follow Up

2012-01-10T15:15:00.003-06:00

Although Chunkster will be 3 weeks on Thursday, I took her for her 2 week follow up appointment today. The doctor said she looks great, is growing well, and weighed in at a scale tipping 10 lbs, 7 oz. They also had to do another PKU test on my baby girl. It was awful, for both of us. I was able to avoid being present for the first one because they did it the first night in the hospital, while she was in the nursery. This time, mama was present. I was glad I was able to console her, but I am not sure who cried more.

I am feeling a lot better about her feeding schedule. Unfortunately, we've had to go solely to formula, Mama's Milk Factory has officially close for business (I blame the economy). At first I was just supplementing but, it's official, I am dried up. I have been really depressed about it, like I'm some kind of failure as a mother because I can't nurse/pump anymore. I knew it wouldn't in anyway last forever, but I definitely anticipated longer than 2.5 weeks. Oh well, there's not much I can do about it now, but it still makes me sad. We had been having problems with her eating an ounce, falling asleep, and then wanting another ounce or so about 30 minutes to an hour later. This just didn't seem like a normal feeding schedule to me. Last night I suggested to Edward that we try a normal bottle nipple as opposed to the slow flow that we had been using for the breast milk. It was a success! Not only is she now taking 2-3 ounces at a time but she's sleeping 2-3 hours in between feedings. I can't thank my mom enough for stocking us up on bottles and supplies, the slow flow nipples were perfect for the breast milk. But, I think because the formula is so much thicker than the breast milk it was harder for her to intake. We're still using the same bottles, we just bought different nipples for her to use. Hopefully, it continues to work out.

Here is a photo today, I have fully convinced myself the majority of her 10 pound frame is carried in her cheeks.

Two Weeks Old

2012-01-07T22:43:00.006-06:00

Happy two weeks old baby girl! I can't believe it's been two weeks already.

Things seem to be going better. I am learning a lot more how to adjust to colic/gas/fussiness. We have some various drops for tummy issues and they seem to be helping a lot. Speaking of, I know it's just gas making her smile like this, but what a face!

My next challenge to overcome is her sleeping location. Right now, Landry only likes to be held and/or in bed with us. She absolutely hates sleeping on her back (not that I can blame her) and prefers to be on her stomach. I wouldn't mind putting her to bed on her stomach but all the "experts" say that causes SIDS and it's important for them to sleep on their back. She's really good with her neck control, so I think she could flip her head over if she was on her stomach, but it still scares me. I know I could also swaddle her and put her on her back (almost like it's confusing her into thinking she's on her stomach) but she seems to be hot natured and will sweat really bad at night. That makes me fearful of her over heating. I've read that co-sleeping is good for regulating breathing but I worry about this becoming a habit. I don't want her to be 2 and still in our bed, determined never to sleep alone. I don't want to create bad habits.

I've been getting more sleep lately. Edward is always telling me to wake him up at night to help but I feel guilty doing that because he has to get up in the morning and work. I will if I absolutely have to, but I try to use it as a last resort. Last night was great because he was off work today so he didn't have to be up early. I would wake him up when she needed a bottle, he would get up and make it and bring it back to bed, and I would feed and burp her. I've come to the conclusion the women definitely function better on a lack of sleep much better than men. We must be programmed for it.

I'll leave you with my newest favorite picture, my squishy little chunk of love!

Rough Day

2012-01-03T17:34:00.003-06:00

The transition from breast to formula is proving to be a bit of a challenge. A big part of it is us not knowing "the rules" of formula. There is so much to takes into consideration: how long the mixed formula is good, how long after being removed from the refrigerator can it sit out before it has to be thrown out, how much should she be taking, how often should she be eating, etc.? Plus, I am still pumping because we are just trying to supplement at this point, not fully go to formula.

This morning Landry was super fussy, which is very out of character for her. So, I did what any new mom would do, I kept feeding her, and she kept eating. She eventually had a MASSIVE blow out in her diaper. It was one of those diapers that wipes just won't cut it. I had to put her in the sink and hose us both off. Then I had to wipe down the counters because it some how managed to get all over them as well.

Just for the record, I will be so happy when her cord falls off and I can give her real baths. This sponge bath junk isn't cutting it.

I got her all cleaned up and she seemed to be feeling better. She was still gassy, but that was it. I figured it may have been the transition from breast milk to formula, but it could also just be one of those days. I got her all dressed and ready to run errands and had her in her bouncy seat while I got myself ready. She was still fussing a bit, but nothing like earlier, so I was bouncing the seat with my foot. Then I heard *burp* and a huge amount of formula came spilling out. Again, this was way beyond a burp cloth/wipe clean up. I had to full out change her clothes because she was soaked. I felt horrible, I know the reason for the massive spit up was because I had been over feeding her.

While we were out running errands she fell asleep in the car and has pretty much been asleep ever since. She did wake up once and ate about 2 ounces but immediately crashed again. It is unlike her to be awake all morning but I know it was because of her tummy.

I have been so concerned about getting her on a routine that I think I have been over doing it a bit. I read one of my trusty mom websites today that said it's perfectly normal in the first few weeks for a baby's eating to be sporadic. She's getting what she needs, when her body needs it, I need to step back on the whole routing aspect a bit. She eats 2-4 ounces every 1.5-2 hours. Sometimes it takes awhile for her to finish eating, but she's eating. She's having wet and poopy diapers just as she should.

I am taking her next Tuesday to a pediatrician that I found for her two week follow up appointment (even though it will be 2 weeks and 4 days) so I will definitely bring up the feeding schedule to her.

So mom's out there - give me some advice - when did your little one start getting into a regular eating schedule.

Breast Milk to Formula

2011-12-31T10:38:00.004-06:00

On Thursday my mom saved my sanity by renting a breast pump from a nearby hospital. Nursing was going pretty well except for the fact that Landry wasn't getting a "proper" latch and my boobies were causing me some horrible pain. Every time she would need to feed I would get so tense and full of anxiety knowing what was to come. I figured if I could pump all would be better.

Physically it was great, but there was one problem, Landry and I were on the same schedule so just as soon as I would finish pumping it was time to eat, I could never get a surplus of milk. Last night Edward agreed to stay up with her as long as possible because I was feeling very run down and needed a few hours of sleep. About 1:00 AM he woke me up because she was hungry, and being no surplus, I needed to pump. I hooked everything up and just couldn't get enough milk. I literally got about an ounce after 10 minutes. I told Edward he was going to have to go to the store, I was facing facts that we were just going to have to supplement with formula, there was no way around it. He went and got formula and we were able to get her fed before a total meltdown.

It wasn't what I wanted, but I figured we could alternate breast milk and formula. I know a lot of people that have had to do that so I would just deal with it. Well, this morning I realized the problem. It wasn't me no producing enough, it was another case of momnesia. I didn't have the tubes properly connected to the pump! It wasn't suctioning like it needed to in order to get the milk. *sigh* I told my mom and she said, "Did you notice it not working as well?" I told her, "It was 1:00 AM and I was tired, I wouldn't have noticed a train." Once I noticed the problem I was able to pump 5 ounces, well above the average 4 ounces that she normally takes. The formula he bought is pre-mixed and has to be used within 3 days. I figure we'll use that up, I'll continue to pump and freeze the milk, and then we really will have a good surplus.

And I know a lot of people say once a baby goes to formula they won't go back to breast milk. Not my kid. She's already gone back and forth and doesn't even flinch. She was 9 pounds after all, as long as she gets to eat that's all that matters.

2:00 AM Feeding

2011-12-31T10:33:00.003-06:00

Since Edward is working and I am on maternity leave I have been doing the majority of staying up with Landry during the night, much to Edward's protest. He would stay up just as much as me, if I would let him. But, he needs to be clear headed for work so I stay up as much as possible.

Up until last night (that will be my next post) I have been strictly nursing Landry. The other night she was fussing, didn't want to latch on, and was just flat out giving me a hard time. Edward always tells me to wake him up when I need help. I finally went in the bedroom, handed her over, and said, "Here, you need to feed the baby," then crawled in bed and went to sleep.

As you can imagine, he stood there dumbfounded. He managed to get her back to sleep (honestly, I think I had fed her and was telling him that but it wasn't how it came out). The next morning as he was leaving for work (don't worry, he did manage to get some sleep in the recliner) he brought her to me and before he left I asked him if he had fed her. Apparently I was rather incoherent. He ended up leaving a little late because he wanted to make sure I was okay. Even then he called me once he got to work to check on us. He said he was scared to leave, I was making no sense at all and he thought I had taken too many pain pills.

New mom brain is so much worse than pregnancy brain.

Little Miss Landry - The Birth

2011-12-25T20:52:00.015-06:00

Most of you probably already know but Landry Evelynn has made her debut! I'll tell the whole birth story but fair warning, it will be honest and probably graphic.

I went to the doctor on Wednesday at 40 weeks + 1 day for my final appointment before my induction. I knew the doctor had said he wanted me to progress more by this appointment. I didn't know where I was measuring, but I knew it had to be more than my 39 week appointment.

Little did I know...

My doctor examined me and said that I was only 70% effaced and 1 cm dilated. What the frig? He started sweeping my membranes again, he was definitely more aggressive than the mid-wife had been the week before. He sat down and told me his honest suggestion was for me to wait. He said to see what happened over the next week and, if I didn't go into labor on my own he, would induce at 41 weeks. I started getting choked up. He said he would leave it up to me, but wanted to let me know that I was in store for a long labor and a high risk for c-section. I didn't want to wait. I told him, "I just can't do it anymore..." Being the smart-ass that he is said, "Sure you can, millions of women do it everyday." I started mentally weighing my options: (1) I had already taken off work (2) Edward had taken his time off work (3) Edward's co-worker had to rearrange his vacation for our current induction date (4) I was 40 weeks, there was really no reason to wait and (5) I was so uncomfortable I didn't mind a long labor and/or c-section. He suggested moving to his office rather than an exam room so that he could call the hospital I was to deliver at. I called Edward in to join us (he was in a little waiting area as opposed to being in the exam room). As the doctor was on the phone, changing my arrival time from 7:00 AM to 5:00 AM, I was telling Edward what the doctor "thought". He covered the mouth piece and said, "No, I *know* you're in store for a long labor and c-section." Edward and I started laughing, my doc is such a punk. He got everything moved around schedule-wise and told us to arrive at 5:00 AM and what to expect.

Edward and I left the office and were discussing everything about to take place. He asked if I was 100% sure I wanted to go through with the induction...he was concerned about me being uncomfortable for so such a long period of time and the risks of c-section. I told him I was sure, no turning back now, this was what I wanted.

I was very uncomfortable Wednesday night, sweeping my membranes left me with pretty intense cramping and back pains. We both spent the evening getting as many things done as possible: laundry, dishes, cleaning, packing and re-packing hospital bags. I slept for about 5 hours that night, Edward slept about 1.5, he was more nervous than I was.

We got to the hospital and checked in. As we were getting settled Edward took this final pregnancy photo of me, yes, I was huge.

Immediately they got my blood work, hooked up an IV, blood pressure cuff, and every other imaginable machine. The first nurse started the Pitocin and my contractions started, but nothing I couldn't handle. She also checked me and said that I was only 2 cm and maybe 70% effaced....still. At 7:00 they had a shift change so the other nurse came in and started checking my vitals and doing the normal procedures. Around 7:45 or 8:00 my doctor came in, checked me again, and broke my water. That was interesting, I didn't know what to expect. It didn't hurt, actually him checking me hurt more than him breaking my water. After this happened, my contractions picked up in both intensity and frequency. I thought I would be okay, at first, but they were coming so fast I wasn't getting a break. I didn't want to call for the epidural immediately, so I held off. Edward was great, doing everything he could to make me as comfortable as possible. After about 30 minutes I called the nurse. I knew it would take some time for the anesthesiologist to get there, plus the time that it would take to complete the procedure, and the time it took to kick in. I don't remember exactly what time they got there, but I remember being so relieved to see them.

They got everything done with the epidural and I was anxiously awaiting the numbness to kick in. They had told me to expect it to be about 15 minutes before I felt a change. I just kept watching the clock, waiting for 15 minutes to pass. But there was a problem. Even after about 30 minutes I could still feel some intense pains. I remembered them saying epidurals relieve about 80% of the pain in about 80% of the people...what if I was going to be in that 20% range where it didn't work??? I called the nurse in and she explained that the medications work via gravity. She had me roll over to my right side and repositioned all the pillows and cords around me. I should mention at some point between getting my epidural and getting repositioned my mom and sister-in-law had made it up to the hospital. Moving to my side relieved a lot of the pain, thank goodness. We spent the next few hours resting as much as possible...and waiting.

I knew my doctor had to be at another hospital at 3:00 and was only scheduled at the hospital I was at until 5:00. He had explained that, if he could, he would stay with me as long as possible. But it all depended on how things played out with the other doctor on-call. They had to switch and, well, they were trying to time things just right.

Around 1:15 my mom and sister-in-law went to the cafeteria for a quick bite to eat. They didn't want to go, they figured the doctor would come in and check me just as soon as they left, but they wanted to get food while they could. Edward was snoozing in the corner, trying to catch up on his lack of the night before. The nurse came in and said, "Okay, Dr. Livingston wanted me to come in and check you real quick." Obviously, with him thinking this was going to be such a long process, no one was expecting much progress. I knew I had been feeling pressure in my bottom, like I needed to potty, but I didn't think much of it. The nurse checked me and I saw the look on her face. She said, "Okay, you're ready to go, let' get this started...don't push."

Wait....What?!?!?!

I said, "Hey babe..." and he immediately sat up and said, "I'm up, I heard, I'm up!" He tried to call my mom but cell service was horrible so he headed out to the hallway. Within a few minutes my mom and sister-in-law were back and the doctor was on his way from his office across the street (that practice has an office in Irving and one in Bedford, where I was). They started bringing in the table of equipment and lowering the spotlight from the ceiling. Edward decided to step outside at this point. He offered to stay if I wanted him to, but after all of our conversations and how I was feeling, we decided it was best for him to leave. The doctor arrived and they got me all into position.

Oh, and by the way, getting your legs into stirrups and your butt to the middle of a hospital bed is nearly impossible when numb from the waist down.

When the doctor walked in I said, "Long labor and high risk for c-section, huh?" He just smiled and said, "Well, actually I figured you would delivery vaginally, I just didn't think it would be until about 5:30 this evening." I told him, "Yeah well, I knew you had stuff to do today so I was just trying to help you out a little." Oh, and come to find out, my nurse told my mom that early in the morning he had actually told them that there was no way I was delivering vaginally and they just needed to expect me to have a c-section. Ha! Edward said that night, "Man you just LOVE proving people wrong." That I do.

Landry was born in 4 contractions. They had me take a deep breath and push for a count of ten for each one. We did this 3 times per contraction. After the second contraction I laughed a little and told my mom and sister-in-law (who were both near my head on my left side), "You know, you two don't need to take the deep breaths too, I think they just mean me." They started laughing and said they couldn't help it. The doctor just looked over and said, "As long as you aren't pushing too." I couldn't feel anything and finally said, "Is she coming or not?!?!?!" and the doctor told me yes, I was doing great. As she was coming out they told me to look down and I yelled, "I can't see anything!" My sister-in-law realized it was because my hospital gown was bunched up on top of my belly and I couldn't see. She adjusted it for me and I saw my beautiful chunky baby. It was all a blur but I remember them putting her on my stomach and I immediately said (1) "She has a cone head!" and (2) "Oh my God, she really does look like her daddy!" I cried more than Landry, it was all so surreal and happened so fast.

They took her over to the baby table and started working on her apgars (she scored a 9.9) and getting her weight (9 lbs. 3 oz.) and height (21 and 3/4 inches). We were all amazed at just how big she was. My mom and sister-in-law were hovering where the baby was, watching everything. My doctor said, "Do you realize that you will never again be the center of attention the rest of your life?" I just laughed and told him I was fine with that. Based on the fact that she was a first baby, her size, and the shortness of time it came for her to arrive, I will admit that I tore, bad. I got a 3rd degree laceration and I'm not entirely sure how many stitches. It's okay though, I would rather have that then a c-section. My doctor explained everything he was doing while he was sewing the stitches. He made the comment, "I'll admit this, you sure didn't labor like a woman with a 9 lb baby." I asked him how a woman with a 9 lb baby labors and he said, "They usually push for a couple hours and we end up doing a c-section, right Linda?" (talking to my nurse). She agreed and said, "Yeah, I'm amazed how big she is considering you had her so fast.

After everything calmed down a bit my mom found Edward and brought him into the room. His first comment? "Wow, she looks like me, I'm so sorry."

Everything was a bit of a whirlwind of course. Within the first hour we did the skin to skin contact and tried nursing. It took about 10 minutes for her to latch on but eventually she took to it like a champ. She was 9 lbs after all, was there really any doubt she would be an excellent eater?

People were asking me if I needed anything and all I wanted was Diet Dr Pepper and food. I wasn't allowed to eat anything after midnight the night before so I was starving. Edward made a run down to the cafeteria to get me my soda and some chicken noodle soup. By now the rest of my family was in the room and we were all visiting. While I was eating they did Landry's footprints, gave her a bath, and got her all cleaned up. Within the next hour, once my epidural was wearing off, they got me disconnected from all of the wires I was hooked up to. They had me walk to the bathroom and make sure I could potty before they would move me to postpartum. It took a few minutes to get things going, but once I was all taken care of the nurse explained a few things to me and I was able to be moved to a new room (after nearly passing out in the bathroom - being on your back for nearly 12 hours, losing blood, and not eating can really take a toll on you).

We finally got all settled in and Edward made another food run for he and I both, he hadn't eaten at all that day either. The day was all kind of a blur but so amazing. We feel truly blessed to have had such a fast and relatively uneventful delivery (all things considered) and that Landry was so extremely healthy.

I will post more updates soon about our first week with our chunk.

40 Weeks - Due Date

2011-12-20T08:59:00.003-06:00

Okay, seriously now, I really wouldn't mind having this baby. What a twist of fate it would be to have her arrive on her actual due date. I wouldn't mind, if anyone out there has any control over that. If not, I'll leave it in the hands of my doctor, who as of right now I will be seeing tommorrow with induction scheduled for Thursday.

I've been trying to be better about not complaining, even though Edward says I really haven't been bad. He's been really good about helping with laundry/cleaning the kitchen/vaccuming/any other needed household chores. Last night I took a bath and was completely exhausted by the time I got done (shaving your legs at 40 weeks pregnant is a challenge). I sat down and I could see the empathy in Edward's face. He just told me how sorry he was that I was so uncomfortable. I appreciate his understanding.

My appetite has changed a lot the last couple of days - mainly not having much of one. Don't get me wrong, I polished off my steak at our office Christmas lunch yesterday. But it seems like I only eat one real meal a day and then I just graze. I'm sure it just has something to do with my body preparing for delivery. I may not actually go on my own, but I think my body knows what's in store.

I'm very nervous and excited all at the same time for what's in store over the next couple of days. I'm really looking forward to seeing my doctor tomorrow and hearing what he has to say.

Hospital Visit / False Alarm

2011-12-19T10:14:00.003-06:00

Ever since I found out I was pregnant I have been researching the signs of labor. Let's face it, it never happens like they show on TV/movies.

My mom had told me that when I was born she never had a sudden water break, it was more like a slow leak that she didn't even realize until she went to a regular doctor's appointment. I've been watching for the signs of this since she told me.

Friday something was going on. I'll try not to be too graphic, but it was something other than the normal pregnancy, ahem, discharge. I decided to kind of wait it out and see. By Saturday, everything had stopped, even with the tons of mall walking I did with my mom. Yesterday, it started again, but not as much as Friday. But, what scared me was the fact that I started feeling bad. I was run down, achy, and felt like I had a fever despite the thermometer proving otherwise. Edward and I talked and I told him my biggest concern was that if I DID have a water break, there was risk for infection.

He immediately started Goggle'ing and he found a site where a woman commented that she had a slow leak, didn't know it, got an infection, and had "complications". After reading that Edward looked at me and said, "Get your shoes on, we're going." We just went to the hospital across the street from where we live, not the hospital where I plan to deliver. We figured if my water had broken then we would just leave and go to the hospital where my doctor is. If they let us leave, of course. If nothing had broken we would just be sent home.

Here's a tip - if you ever want to see an ER staff scurry around like ants, go in at 40 weeks pregnant and tell them you think you are in labor. It really is quite the show.

We were at the hospital *maybe* two hours, and the majority of the process was paperwork and answering questions. Them actually checking me and sending the results to the lab took all of about 30 minutes. Everything was negative and we were able to get home.

I did learn a lot about my first labor & delivery experience, here are some highlights:

1 - I need to make sure my Kindle and iPod are fully charged. There will be a whole lot of nothing going on for a long time.

2 - I am sure more than ever I don't want Edward in the delivery room (which he will not object to). After last night, I'm not sure I want anyone other than the doctor and nurse in the delivery room. Although my mom and sister-in-law said they fully plan on staying up by my head. There is no shame in childbirth.

3 - I need to call the hospital ahead of time and request they lock all cabinets and drawers before our arrival, as my husband will proceed to ransack everything to see what he can find.

4 - You will never have to pee more times in your life than you do when hooked up to a blood pressure cuff, pulse ox, and fetal heart rate monitor. Who knew ice chips could move through a person so fast?

5 - Ice chips are addictive.

Right now the plan is still to visit my doctor on Wednesday and check-in for induction on Thursday. Unless something happens before then. But in all honest, I think 12/22/11 will be the day.

Something I Never Thought I'd Say...

2011-12-15T17:08:00.001-06:00

"Um, Dr. Livingston, should I be concerned that my OB/GYN has a cordless drill in his office?"

Apparently he gets rather random Christmas presents from patients.

Doctor's Appointment - 39 Weeks + 1 Day

2011-12-14T17:48:00.004-06:00

Initially when I got to the doctor's office I saw the midwife that I had seen at my 37 week appointment because my doctor was at the hospital for a delivery. She asked what he and I had discussed at the previous appointment and I told her he mentioned sweeping my membranes this week if he was able too. I guess you have to be somewhat dilated for that to work. While checking me she mentioned that I was at 1 cm and that she was in fact going to sweep the membranes. It was definitely uncomfortable and I am sure more than ever that I will be requesting an epidural.

I had a lot of questions for her about labor, especially if this process works, and when I should go to the hospital. God love her for being so patient but I know I'm not the only first time mom she's dealt with that has a million questions. And I definitely don't have a problem asking.

My doctor made it back to the office before my appointment was over so he came in and we talked more. We decided to go ahead and schedule and induction because he said with the holiday availability can be limited. So, if I don't go into labor on my own, then I will be induced next Thursday. I am hoping I go on my own, but I will take whatever I can get. For privacy reasons I am not going to put on here what hospital I will be at, but should anyone want to know they can e-mail me directly. I will say this, if I go on my own I will be at one hospital, if I am induced I will be at another. This was due to my doctor's schedule and me not wanting to wait any longer.

Definitely no more than a week and Landry will be here! I am excited and nervous all at the same time.

Oh, and PS, the mid-wife was feeling to see if she could she how big the baby was. She said she's probably about 7 pounds but she did make the comment, "Man, this baby really is up in your ribs, isn't she?" Oh yeah, I could have told you that!

39 Weeks

2011-12-13T12:33:00.005-06:00

I am over my pity party, yes, but I am still uncomfortable and not sleeping. It's all okay though, I'm going to do my best to quit complaining. I told Edward that last night and he made me feel better by saying, "You haven't been bad, honestly." I appreciate his comment but I can't help but feel a little sorry for him. He has been riding the emotional roller coaster with me lately. If my hormones are this bad now, I can't imagine what they will be like after Landry arrives. I think we're both preparing for the worst. I am anyway.

One of my best friend's came by work today and we were talking about everything to come. Her son is 6 months old now, she provides a lot of brutal honesty that I need. We were talking about my doctor's appointment tomorrow and what could or could not happen. She was induced so I was explaining about sweeping the membranes, although I don't fully understand it myself. She asked if I was feeling any different and I told her no, I feel exactly like I did last week.

I am hoping I have progressed at least enough for him to sweep my membranes. I'll make sure to update once I get home from my appointment tomorrow.

Reality Check

2011-12-13T09:20:00.002-06:00

I got a reality check yesterday after my pity party. I realized how lucky I am to have had as healthy and "normal" of a pregnancy as I have had so far. No, my pregnancy hasn't been ideal with the separation and all, but good Lord I have a lot to be grateful for and I needed that reminder I got yesterday.

Stick a Fork In Me...I Am Done

2011-12-12T08:43:00.004-06:00

I've heard a lot of women say that you reach a day when you are just completely DONE being pregnant. That day for me was Saturday. I was tired, I was very cranky, and by the time Edward got home from work I had had it.

When he and Marcantoni walked in the door he could tell something was wrong. I kept dismissing it because I didn't want my stepson to know what was bothering me. I finally went in the bedroom to lie down and Edward followed me. He asked again what was wrong and I lost it, "I'm tired of being pregnant! I can't do anything, I can't sleep, I can't get comfortable...I'm effing sick of it!" I could tell he felt bad. He kept asking what he could do, but let's face it, there's nothing anyone can do. It's just a waiting game. I did try to stay active this weekend, probably not at much as I should have, but it's a no win situation.

Yes, I realize I am being a whiney-butt, I just need to vent.

Doctor's Appointment - 38 Weeks + 1 Day

2011-12-07T17:45:00.002-06:00

Well, looks like I will be pregnant a week longer, at least that's what my doctor thinks. Nothing has changed since last week, still about 50% effaced and *maybe* a half centimeter dilation (he said that was being generous). He said he might consider sweeping my membranes next week if I have progressed a little more, but we'll wait until then to see.

When he walked in the room his first question was, "Still pregnant huh?" I gave him *the look* and he laughed and said, "T.O.P., Tired Of Pregnancy, it's a technical term."

Saturday if a full moon, but my brother's wife said I can't go into labor this weekend as they will be in Austin.

Time will tell....

38 Weeks

2011-12-06T09:07:00.005-06:00

Yep, still pregnant. I go to the doctor tomorrow so I'm going to see if I can talk him into scheduling inducement for the following week. We'll see what he says. I think a lot of it will depend on how much I have progressed on my own. I have a feeling if I'm not close enough, and there's really no good reason, then he'll want me to go to 40 weeks. We'll see what my sales experience can talk him into.

I am feeling okay, just tired of course. A lot of that is just being 38 weeks pregnant, but a lot of that is also not sleeping well at night. I am getting better rest than I was (no 3:00-3:30 wake up calls anymore) but I am still not getting a good night's rest. I know, I know, if I think I'm not sleeping now I'm in for a real shock once she gets here. But, at least then I'm hoping to be somewhat more physically comfortable. Maybe? Hopefully?

I've also been having a lot of anxiety about delivery. I'm not worried about it hurting, that's just expected. I worry about the cord being around the neck. It just seems a lot more common than I realized. I know that 9 times out of 10 everything comes out find, but I can't help but worry. I know they'll put the monitor on the baby to track her heart rate and oxygen levels, but it's still a concern.

I'm also afraid of her, um, getting stuck. Neither Edward and I are what could be considered "petite" and I fear having a giant baby. That's another reason I want to talk to my doctor about maybe going a week or so early. I know a woman's body is made to adjust, but things happen. I'm not trying to psych myself out, I'm just trying to keep myself educated to possibilities. I will say this, my body is definitely "adjusting." My back and hips were hurting so bad last night, I can tell things are getting wider as she is probably getting lower and lower. But why do I still have a foot in my ribs?

Here's a funny story. Last week, after my doctor's appointment, I had of course called my mom. I was telling her all about my progress and being effaced 50%. After we hung up my dad asked my mom, "So, what's going on? Is she dilating?" My mom told him, "No, but she is 50% effaced." My dad just shook is head, started walking away and said, "That sounds too personal, I don't want to know what that is." That made me laugh.

I will update after my doctor's appointment tomorrow, I am very eager to see what he says.

Side By Side

2011-12-01T10:55:00.004-06:00

Last night Edward came home from work and lovingly said, "Wow babe, your stomach looks a lot different today, it's really poking out a lot more." So I decided to do a little side-by-side comparison. Yeah, I'd say I've changed just a tad in 4 weeks.

37 Weeks

2011-11-28T14:59:00.012-06:00

Full term! We made it! Now it's time to start eating spicy foods, walking long distances, and jumping on trampolines in an attempt to get things moving.

I am so glad that pregnancy hasn't hindered my ability to be a complete klutz. Last night I was walking through my parents' backyard and gingerly stepping from one flagstone to the next. Then, like slow motion, I stepped sideways on one of the stones, twisted my ankle, and went down. I sat there for a moment gathering up what just happened. Rex had been running over to greet me. When I fell, he started barking at me as if to say, "Hey, you're not supposed to do that, get up!" I heard my mom say, "Oh my God, did you just fall?" I wish I thought of it at the time, but my immediate response should have been, "No, I'm Tebowing."

I didn't land on my stomach, I pretty much landed exactly like the picture shows. I did manage to scrape up my knee pretty good, even through my pants. My mom was concerned that I had jarred something loose, but the baby is still moving like crazy and I haven't had any bleeding so I am sure it's fine. I have a doctor's appointment today so I will be sure to bring it up.

On another note, I managed to get some really cute things for Landry that I am super excited about. My friend Jennifer brought in this Juicy Couture outfit to work yesterday. Seriously, how cute is this? My child is already rotten.

Plus, I found these flower hair clips that I cannot wait to start using. Check out the rhinestones in the middle. I have headbands being delivered. I love eBay, where else can you buy items like this in bulk for $2?

I was waiting to post this until I got home from the doctor so I could also update my status (I love that I'm going to have these weekly entries to look back on). I ended up seeing the mid-wife in the office this week because my doctor had to leave early for surgery (they had called me last week to confirm I would be okay with this). I had met her before during the childbirth class we took, plus, everyone in that office is amazing and I knew I could trust her input. We just talked about everything I was feeling and everything that was going on. I asked if she would be checking me this week and she said normally they don't start checking until 38 weeks (depending on symptoms) but she would be happy to if I would like. I told her that based on my mom's childbirth stories, plus the fact this is my first child and I really don't know what to expect, I would feel more comfortable knowing exactly where I stood. She was very nice about the whole thing and obliged. She said right now I am 50% effaced and 0 as far as dialating. She mentioned this is a perfect place to be for 37 weeks. I was relieved. I think she was worried I would be discouraged that I wasn't progressed more, but that's not what I was hoping for. Not that I don't want her here now, I just know the longer she stays, the better. Like I said, I just wanted to know for sure where everything was going.

I'll go back and see my regular doctor next Wednesday at 38 weeks + 1 day and see if anything has changed.

36 Weeks

2011-11-22T10:41:00.006-06:00

It's official, we've hit the 9 month mark. And next week? Full term!

Not much has changed since last week. Oh, I did get my Strep B results and they were negative, woo-woo! I know that IV antibiotics are given for women that test positive, and normally things are just fine, but I also know things can happen. I mean, let's face it, things can happen with a perfectly routine delivery. I'm just relieved to not have this in the back of my mind too.

I think she is moving down more. Although as soon as I say that I usually feel a foot back in my rib. She's my own personal little yo-yo right now. I have been experiencing some massive heartburn though. This weekend there were a few occasions where I thought I was going to throw up it was so bad. Luckily, over the counter medicines seem to be helping sudden flare ups and get the situation under control.

I've been trying to go through clothes and get things washed the best I can. I was talking to one of my fellow new mom friends at the baby shower and we were both discussing if baby clothes really *need* to be washed prior to the baby wearing them. Our thinking was basically it's not like anyone else has worn these clothes. Our moms both quickly corrected us on this, therefore I will be washing a lot of baby clothes.

I've also been mentally preparing what needs to be packed in the hospital bag. I've stocked up on individual sizes of shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothpaste, etc. all to be packed up and ready to go in a moment's notice.

It's so weird to think all of this is coming to and end and she will be here in just a few short weeks.

35 Weeks

2011-11-14T19:47:00.003-06:00

One of the things that I have found surprising about pregnancy is the total pain of it all. I mean, I'm not naive, I knew there would be pain involved. I just figured the real pain would come when labor started and after delivery. No one told me how much pain I would be in months before the baby actually arrived. All I ever heard people say was they were "uncomfortable" - yeah, I'm way beyond that point. My muscles ache like I never knew, and it's muscles that have never ached before, women who have been pregnant will probably understand where I am going.

Sleeping continues to be a challenge. I usually wake up anywhere from 3:00-3:30 in the morning and am up for about 2 hours before I can go back to sleep. At that point I get about another hour or so before it's time to get up and start getting ready for work. Saturday night, after a busy day that included my amazing baby shower, I fell asleep at 8:00 and was in a good coma-like sleep. Edward came to bed about midnight and it woke me up. I was up and miserable for the next 3 hours. I tossed and turned trying to get comfortable. I flipped so that my head was at the foot of the bed. I even tried sleeping on the floor. I was in tears because I was so tired and so uncomfortable. I told Edward about it the next morning and he felt really bad. But in all honesty, what can he do? What can anyone do? I guess it's just part of pregnancy.

I had a doctor's appointment today and everything still looks good. I had my Group B Strep test done today so I am anxiously awaiting the results. Other than that it was a pretty normal appointment. I'll go back in two weeks since Thanksgiving is next week.

Baby Shower

2011-11-14T08:53:00.011-06:00

This weekend I was left completely speechless and in awe of how amazingly blessed I am. I have such a wonderful group of women in my life in the form of family and friends I just can't fully express my appreciation.

My friends Jayme, Kerrie, Jennifer, and my brother's wife Michelle threw me a baby shower. It was so great to see friends, some of whom I haven't seen in awhile. Edward and I are both completely overwhelmed by all of the items we received as well. Again, I really can't put it all into words how much I appreciate everything everyone did.

Here are a few photos from the day.

Cute little letters Jayme made.

Me with my hostesses (minus Kerrie who started a new job and had to work). L to R: Jennifer, Me, Michelle, and Jayme

Why yes, I do feel huge. ; )

Me and Jayme - friends since we were 17!

Clinesmith women - Mom, Me, my niece Katelynn, and Michelle

The GORGEOUS quilt that my friend Jennifer (yes, another Jennifer, there are a lot of us) made. I absolutely love this and can't wait to bundle my little bundle up in it!

Again, I can't totally express my gratitude to everyone but it was an amazing day!

34 Weeks

2011-11-08T10:54:00.003-06:00

I can't believe I'm only a month and a half away, if that!

I have been extremely tired still, especially since Landry has decided playtime is between 3:00 and 4:00 every morning. Maybe she's just getting me used to getting up at that hour for feedings. She's so thoughful that way. I wake up to some major kicking and rolling. I don't mean a little nudge here and there, I mean full on belly rolls. It still amazes me how active she is and the feelings I am experiencing in general.

I'm sure most of you know that there was a 5+ magnitude earthquake in Oklahoma Saturday night and was felt all the way from Kansas to North Texas and we were part of that group. I was lying on the floor (doing whatever it takes to get comfortable) and I remember feeling the ground do a wave motion. I didn't pay much attention to it. Then, it did it a second time. I remember first thinking how I thought I was nauseous for a split second. Then, I thought, "Okay, that was a weird baby kick." I know it's stupid but I honestly thought she was kicking in some weird way (I was lying on my side so I figured she was kicking the part of my belly touching the ground). All of the sudden Edward sat up in the chair and said, "What is that???" and pointed to our house plants. The leaves were swaying back and forth. It scared me and I looked at him and said, "I have no idea, that's weird." He started laughing and said, "I think we just had an earthquake." I honestly didn't think there was anyway, but North Texas has been experiencing some mild tremors over the last several months. Come to find out, yep, we were feeling the Oklahoma earthquake. Like living in tornado alley isn't enough?

Anyway, nothing new to report. I've discovered I can't drink lemonade anymore because it gives me heartburn. Luckily, I haven't had too many problems with that, especially compared to other stories I've heard. Maybe that means I'll be having a little baldy. I sure was when I was a baby.

33 Weeks

2011-11-02T09:17:00.003-05:00

I was waiting to post this because I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and wanted to see if there were any updates.

They did a quick sonogram just to get some measurements and they said everything is normal. There really wasn't much else said about it so I figure no news is good news. She is head down and the technician checked - after I told her I was feeling "pressure" - and she confirmed I have two feet in my left rib. Oh well, I can deal with it as long as she is in the position she needs to be in. I just saw the doctor for a few minutes, he measured my belly and listened to the heartbeat like he does at every appointment. He said going forward I will start going in every two weeks, then every week, and at some point in that time frame I'll have a baby (his exact words, gotta love him). It's crazy to me that we're getting that close, but I guess ready or not, here she comes!

I'm still doing okay, I am starting to feel very aware of how big I am. And every week I just feel bigger and bigger. I can really see a difference as to how much more she is growing these last few weeks. It's all good, just amazing to see the difference. Sleeping is still proving to be a bit of a challenge. Even though I am tired, getting and staying to sleep in a comfortable position is difficult. I do my best and every morning have mastered the art of using my leg as a windmill to get myself up.

And PS, why is it in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy every piece of furniture in one's house seems to projectile itself right into your belly? Seriously, I have never walked into as many inanimate objects in my life as I have the past few weeks. I think it's a conspiracy.

32 Weeks

2011-10-25T08:00:00.000-05:00

Why is it when I tell people I'm scared about being a mom they look at me like I've just committed some horrible sin and I'm damned to hell for all eternity? It's not the labor + delivery that scares me so much...well, yeah that scares me, but being a mom is what really scares me. I can get the kid out, that's not what I'm concerned with. It's the raising the child that has me waking up at nights in a cold sweat. And why do people like to blow it off with things like, "Oh, you'll be fine," or "It will all be worth it in the end." What "end"? Like when I'm dead end or will it be worth it before then? And can I even make it to that point without ending up in a padded room?

Edward says I'm putting too much pressure on myself. Um, YEAH!!!! This is not like picking out a pair of shoes or deciding what I want for dinner (which these days prove to be milestone decisions that leave me on the brink of tears just by themselves). I am raising a person. I am responsible for a person. Her life depends solely on me. Okay, not solely on me, I know I will have help from Edward and family, but still.

And knowing that I only have 8 weeks to go - if that - is just perpetuating the questions and un-answers.

On a separate note, I was over at my parents' house Friday night visiting with my niece and nephew. I put my 10-year-old nephew's hand on my belly while the baby was kicking so he could feel it. I wish I had a video camera ready at the time. His reaction was priceless. To say he thought it was "weird" and didn't enjoy it is a bit of an understatement. I couldn't help but laugh. Later we watched the 4d DVD and my nephew said she looked like an (and these are his words) "zombie pig." I could be offended by this, but considering what I think she looks like, I really can't argue. After watching the video my niece and nephew have both lovingly decided to nickname their cousin "Piglet."

Shop Til You Drop

2011-10-19T08:58:00.004-05:00

It's official, I can no longer go to the store by myself, especially after I made a real ass of myself last night. *sigh*

It's happened twice before, I'll be walking around the store and then as soon as I go get in the checkout line I feel very dizzy and faint. The first time it happened I was able to get out of the store and to my car alone. The second time Edward was with me and I was able to go sit while he finished with the cashier. Last night hit me the fastest, and since I was alone, it was the worst.

I did all of my shopping and headed to the line. I was pretty annoyed that it was immediately after work and the store only had 4 lanes open. It's was a Super Target so you can imagine how many registers there actually are. I was just going to have to wait, there was no other option. But as soon as I put my little basket on the conveyor belt, I started to feel it. First the nausea, then the shallow and quick breaths, then the hot neck and back, by the time it was my turn my ears were ringing and the tunnel vision was setting in. The cashier gave me my total and as I swiped my card I hunched over a bit on the little stand for check writing and she asked, "Are you okay?" I wasn't okay, but I talked myself into pulling it together long enough to walk the 100 feet over to the snack area so I could sit down. I said, "I'm fine," and finished taking the 20-question debit card quiz they give you. As I walked around to the side to pick up my bags, I realized I couldn't do it. I uttered out, "I'm not okay," and hit the ground.

This was the moment I thought, "Way to go dumbass, here comes the chaos."

I didn't actually pass out. I just knew I couldn't make it any further so I just sat my butt down right on the floor and hunched myself over with my chin to my chest. And God bless the sweet old cashier I had. Let's just say she wasn't exactly prepared for these kinds of emergencies. The next thing I heard was, "I, I, I, I, Uh, Uh, Uh, Uh, What can I? What do you? Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Do, Do, Do, Do you need some water?" I told her yes just to give her something to do and I heard her feet *running* full sprint over to the deli. And then I heard, "I've got a customer down, can I get some water?" All I could think was how embarrassed I was.

Now, let me just say this...Yes, there was a time in my life (okay, basically most of my life up until about my mid-to-late-20s) that I would have loved to have been the center of attention and having people fall all over me. But now, I hate it, really really hate it. Just leave me alone, I'll be fine.

Around the time the cashier came back with some water I realize that not only is the customer that was behind me in line is now standing over me, but also another store cashier, and yet another customer. The other customer was telling me that she was her office's emergency response person and how she is trained in medical emergencies. I wanted to cry at this point. Not because of what had happened, but out of pure embarrassment. I told everyone, "I'm fine, I'm sorry, I'm pregnant and my doctor said that this can happen, it's happened before, I just need to sit for a minute."

Meanwhile the tears are welling up and I know they think it's because I'm scared/sick, but again, no, I just feel like an ass.

Suddenly I heard *beep*beep*beep* and I look over and one of the cashier's is bringing me one of those motorized rascal'ish grocery shopping cart things to sit in. I laughed to myself. She brought it over and they all helped me up. Again, let me have a little bit of my dignity and pick my own ass up off the floor. But I knew they were just trying to be nice, and let's face it, standing up is a challenge on it's own these days, sick or not. They asked me to sit in the cart and while I tried to refused they insisted. So I sat down and finished my water. The whole time all I can do is apologize to everyone. They were all very nice though.

And here comes the manager.

She was very nice as well, asking if there is someone they need to call, do I need an ambulance, do I want to fill out an accident report. I refused all. Again, I told how this was something my doctor mentioned can happen, has happened before, and that I was already feeling much better just by sitting for a few minutes. I told her I just wanted to leave. She asked if I wanted someone to help me to my car and I thanked her but told her no. I told her I realized when things happen in the store they have certain protocol to follow but I assured her I was fine, I just wanted to go home.

I thanked everyone again and then booked it out of the store as fast as my shaky legs could carry me. As I reached my car I realized the woman that was an emergency response person at her office had followed me, to make sure I was okay. I thanked her again and got my butt in my car as fast as I could.

I text Edward and told him what happened. He was concerned but agreed I don't need to shop alone anymore. And then I called my mom. She asked if I was okay and then when I told her, "Yes, I just feel like a moron," she laughed.

Crazy pregnancy moments. I guess everyone has to have their "thing" when they are pregnant, this just happens to be mine.

31 Weeks

2011-10-18T09:23:00.002-05:00

Nothing much has changed physically since last week, emotionally I am still a basket case 99% of the time. Saturday morning Edward and I woke up early (because no matter how hard we try, we can't sleep in) and were watching the Komen Race for the Cure on TV.

I lost it.

The sea of pink, the survivors with their pink roses, the signs of how many years cancer-free the women were. I was a heaving mess. Oh, and when they did the Survivor March, forget it. Edward finally had to change the channel.

I'm also experiencing a horrible case of pregnancy brain all over again. It hasn't been much of a problem since the first trimester but it has definitely been rearing it's ugly head. So funny too, I'll be trying to ask Jenn at work a question and she'll just look at me and say, "What the hell are you talking about?" It usually takes her saying that for me to snap out of my fog and realize I have been rambling and making no sense. We always both end up laughing, she's been pregnant twice, she gets it. Edward has been suffering a severe case of sympathy pregnancy brain as well. I figure it just means Landry is sucking the intelligence out of us for herself, so it's okay if it means she'll be smart. Now, if she uses those powers for good instead of evil I'll be REALLY happy.

I am still having a difficult time getting comfortable. I'll find a position that's good for a few hours but then I need to roll over - and that's the hard part. I end up grunting and groaning a lot to get myself flipped over. Luckily, Edward seems to sleep right through it. I don't know if he even knows it, but Edward has started rubbing my belly in his sleep. I honestly don't think he even realizes he does it.

Getting out of cars, chairs, basically any sitting position is proving to be a difficult task as well. I never understood why pregnant women had such a hard time, until now. It's not so much the belly getting in the way as it is the aching joints and muscles that make these tasks so challenging.

I know it sounds like I'm complaining, I don't mean to, it's just amazing to me to actually experience these things first hand.

Pregnancy Quote of the Day

2011-10-17T08:49:00.004-05:00

I have been feeling more and more unattractive lately, something I am sure any woman that has ever been pregnant can understand, and I am constantly complaining to Edward about it.

He used to always try and make me feel better but, he has decided, since all I do is argue with him when he's trying to encourage me, that he's just going to start agreeing with me instead. You would think I would find it offensive, but so far I just end up laughing instead.

Recent conversations:
Me: I am starting to look really old.
Edward: Babe, don't say that, you've looked old for a long time.

Me: I feel fat.
Edward: Well, I have to be honest, you have developed a bit of a gut.

It's funny now, but he does realize at any moment I may break down into heaving tears thanks to my raging hormones.

4d Sonogram

2011-10-13T11:14:00.005-05:00

We had our 4d sonogram yesterday and I was impressed. It actually came out fairly decent, I think even to the surprise of the sono tech. He warned us from the beginning that her face was right up against the placenta, so it might be difficult. But, once he started moving things around we got some great images. We saw her gluping, which he said were her lungs practicing breathing, it was amazing to see. We even got a hint of a "smile" on her face. She has Edward's nose, that's a definite. I kept commenting on how chubby her cheeks were but the sonogram tech said that, although he can't explain why, at this stage they always have chubby cheeks. I think she'll have them regardless, Edward and I both do.

The tech confirmed that she is head down, so it is in fact her feet I am feeling kicking my stomach. That's what I had figured, but couldn't be sure. She is still face up but we have plenty of time for that to change.

Here's a cute picture of a picture - Edward took this on his phone while we were waiting to see the doctor.

I e-mailed it to my brother the picture, knowing he would find it "weird" - I have to share the e-mail conversation:

Me: Hi Uncle Jerry (included attached photo)
Jerry: I’m sure the real baby will be much cuter, but that picture creeped me out! I can’t believe the detail they can get now…
Me: I am in tears I am laughing so hard at your response. It is creepy as hell, you should see the video, so weird. Edward said she resembles an evil baby from a video game. I thinks she looks like the creepy ghost kid from The Grudge.
Jerry: Too funny – I thought the same thing! I almost sent this picture but I didn’t want to offend you or anything…

Just for the record, I laughed out loud when I saw the picture he sent me, I wasn't at all offended...I thought it was hilarious.

Here is the picture he sent back to me, along with a comparison of Landry.

Yeah, as if I wasn't freaked out enough about being a mother - HA!

30 Weeks

2011-10-11T09:06:00.002-05:00

I've officially hit that point where I think to myself, "Really? Two and a half more months, REALLY?" I'm not trying to be a whiney butt, but I am uncomfortable, I am tired, I am cranky, and just blah!

I was reading on one of the pregnancy websites that at 30 weeks is when a woman's hormones can start causing mood swings again. That explains why I nearly broke down in tears while trying to navigate a new grocery store the other day. Or why I nearly ripped my husband's head off while trying to work one of those crappy registry computers at the store this weekend. They also say a woman can begin to get "clumsy" at 30 weeks. Oh, I'm way ahead of that milestone. Every time (and it happens a lot) I drop my car keys I say a little curse word to myself because bending over to get them is a real challenge. If I'm with Edward he'll look at me and say, "You dropped your keys," while pointing to them lying in front of me. I give him "the look" and he laughs and picks them up for me.

Landry is moving like crazy. I really can't tell what position she is in, but I do know that I feel a lot of movement at the top of my belly. I don't know if that means she's head down and kicking my stomach, or if she's head up and punching my stomach. I don't feel anything down low like I used to. I get a little paranoid if I feel like it's been "too long" since I felt her move. When that happens, I might grab some juice or caffeine because those always get her going. My mom said after my brother and I were born she went through a phase of really missing the movements. It's funny too though because when she gets going, oh my goodness. I can be sitting at my desk and it looks like something out of the movie Alien. I can literally see my belly moving all over the place. As creepy as it is (I mean, come on, think about it) I love it.

I finally finished my baby registries, well, I hope I did anyway. I did two, because friends and family suggested doing one at a specialty baby store and another at a more reasonably priced department store. Note to said department store, best to keep the baby department as far away from the electronics department as possible, to dissuade any soon-to-be-fathers from getting a little over eager with the scanning gun. Let's just say we had to make some edits. I have gone a little overboard on pink items. I am guessing by the time she arrives it won't be my favorite color anymore. I asked Edward while we were registering if it would be a problem for him to carry a pink diaper bag, while pushing a pink stroller, with a pink car seat. He just looked at me confused and said, "Babe, I'm going to be carrying a baby girl around, of course I don't care. Now, if it was a boy and you had me loaded down with pink, that might be a little awkward." I can't wait to see my goatee'd Mexican husband decked out in pink baby gear. Poor guy.

Child Birth Class - Week 1

2011-10-05T09:21:00.005-05:00

Okay, let me preface what I am about to say with the fact that I am thrilled to be pregnant and looking forward to what's in store....

But let me also say this, pregnancy is weird, my body is weird, and this whole process is creeping me the hell out. My body is not my own anymore. Things are changing that I never in a million years would have thought could change with pregnancy.

My doctor's office is offering a trial child birth class to see if they get a good turn out and response. If they do, it's something they'll consider keeping. I wasn't going to take a class but since it was free, and I'm always willing to be a guinea pig, I signed us up.

Last night was our first of three classes. I got there before Edward (we were both coming straight from work) and as soon as I saw the "props" I had to text him, "OMG, I just saw the fake baby, fake pelvis, fake umbilical cord, fake placenta, and fake uterus, I don't think I can do this, eeewwww!" His response, "LOL." He arrived a few minutes before the class started and we settled in for the two hour session.

Note to self, next week, bring a snack.

They talked about the usual stuff. It's being taught by a nurse/mid-wife and a registered doula. Obviously, they are teaching more about the benefits of having a "natural" child birth vs. intervention with drugs. Not that they're saying you can't have petocin, epidural, etc., but they are teaching more about the natural alternatives as opposed to walking in the hospital door and demanding an epidural.

They initially went around the room asking women what their birth plan was. It was about half and half that said they were planning natural or epidural. I was the only one in class that said I honestly had no idea. "My birth plan is to get the kid out without causing anyone else harm." And I wasn't just trying to be funny, I really have no idea what I'll end up doing. The only thing I really want is the skin-to-skin contact with Landry as soon as she is born. If that's an option. If something unforeseen happens and I have to have a c-section, we'll make do.

I did enjoy the exercises they talked about though that can help the baby get into the right position for delivery. They discussed why it's better for the baby to be born posterior (face down) vs. anterior (face up) and how it can be a more difficult delivery if the baby is anterior. Again, so much to learn.

I'll be honest, I'm skeptical, I think people try to "plan" delivery too much. I am open to options. There are just so many unplanned things that can happen that I figure you just have to go with the flow when the moment comes.

That's my birth plan...figure it out as I go along.

And PS - I did okay with the class - until they started talking about delivering the placenta. That's when Edward started laughing and handed me a mint to keep me from gagging. Oh the horrible visual images I have right now.

29 Weeks

2011-10-04T11:50:00.002-05:00

The third trimester so far has been a whirlwind of chaos with the move and everything else going on.

Landry is still bopping along like crazy and I think I felt the first set of hiccups last night. That or she just has a great sense of rhythm and we're going to make a killing on her musical talents. I'm definitely starting to feel more tired that I had before and noticing where I need more sleep. I haven't really had any issues with swelling yet, of course that could probably be because I have a desk job.

I've been trying to get everything wrapped up with baby registries but that part of this experience is proving to be more daunting than anything. Edward and I were discussing it last night and he said, "I thought that would be your favorite part." I told him, "I thought so too, but all it does is reconfirm that I have no idea what the hell I am doing." It's almost like the endless racks and shelves of baby items are taunting me. I'll get everything done, but I'll probably protest the entire way through it.

We have our first birthing class tonight. I wasn't going to take a class because I kind of figured nature will take it's course and my body will just do what it needs to do naturally. Plus, I'll have my doctor and nurses there to say, "Okay, breathe this way, do this, flip this way, and push now." But, my doctor's office is offering three free birthing classes as part of a pilot program to see if it's something they would consider doing again in the future. I figured what-the-heck, sign me up. Now, if I want to go back after this next session or if I'm too traumatized after seeing what my body will likely go through will be the real test. I'll keep everyone posted on the outcome.

Big Move

2011-10-03T17:14:00.004-05:00

Pregnant or not, moving sucks, but being 7 months pregnant, incapable of lifting anything, and dead tired from the little amount you can do, REALLY sucks.

So awhile back I mentioned there were some big changes coming, but I didn't want to announce anything until it was official. This weekend, Edward and I moved to an apartment near my parents' (we chose this location because my mom will be watching Landry when she arrives, and you can literally walk to my parents' house from our new place). The kids are now living with their mom. Some people know the entire story, but not many, it hasn't been something that I have shared openly. Basically, the stress of raising two teenagers, with little help and NO financial support from their mom, really took a toll on not only Edward's and my marriage, but also us individually. Long story short, we took some time apart, did some marriage counseling, and decided that if we wanted things to work with our marriage, major changes had to happen.

Edward put his foot down and told the kids' mom that she had two choices (1) go with him to the Attorney General and sign paperwork saying that the kids now lived with him - and had been for almost 2.5 years - and begin paying child support or (2) take the kids back fulltime. It was a struggle, one we almost didn't make it through, but she agreed to take custody. Now, we understand the issues we had before may arise again, but it's something we will work on in a different manner than we did last time. For legal reasons, I'll leave it at that.

This weekend, Edward and I moved into our new place and are going to continue to work on our marriage and ourselves. We both know that we have things to deal with, but we're going to try our best to work them out together. Edward and I also are not the greatest communicators. We both tend to bottle things up until we can't take it anymore. And, we both have a habit of getting horribly defensive when the other tries to bring something up. We are going to continue counseling when needed, it seems to really help because we are both open to it.

So, all of that being said, moving this weekend was a real pain. I tried everything I could to make things move as smooth as possible because physically, I couldn't hardly do anything. But, no matter how organized you are on paper, it can all turn into a giant mess when it comes time to actually move. It was funny, we were sitting in the new living room and I told my mom, "I feel like I haven't done anything but I am so damn tired, I don't get it!" She said, "Um, because you're 7 months pregnant, that's why you're so tired!" I just couldn't fathom being that tired with so little physial effort.

Edward and I are getting settled and somewhat unpacked in the new place. I love our new apartment. The complex is wonderful and has more amenities than I could ever ask for. It's quiet (seriously, haven't heard a peep since we've been there) and everyone I have met is really nice.

I'm excited, anxious, and curious to see what the future holds but I just want to give a huge thanks to my family and friends that have stood by both Edward and I during the last few months. I couldn't have done it without you.

Delivery Room Headcount

2011-09-30T11:37:00.002-05:00

So my headcount for the delivery room is now up to 6, and yes, I really need to talk to my doctor and convince him of why everyone is needed.

Edward - If he chooses to stay, he's a given, obviously.

My mom and sis-in-law Michelle - Mom says they need to supervise. Plus, Michelle is a respiratory therapist, so I may say I need her there because of my asthma.

My friend Kerrie - she's going to get ordained online and be my spiritual advisor. I figure if we wrap her beer helmet in a turban no one will be the wiser.

My friend Jenn - for amazing photos that can never be recaptured again.

My friend Kristie - for video, that is if she can handle recording with all the hilarity and chaos of the above names mentioned.

I think I can make this work...

28 Weeks

2011-09-27T08:44:00.003-05:00

I can't believe it - today officially marks the start of my 3rd trimester. I can't wait to see what the next three months has in store on this wild ride.

I was reading back in my blog and it's funny to me to read about feeling "bubbles" for the first time and now I can feel full on baby rolls. The other night at dinner my nephew was making his stomach roll. You know, where it looks like a wave in fast succession? I just looked at him and said, "Yeah buddy, you should see what MY stomach can do." He just laughed and then got a little creeped out.

Things are still going well. I've noticed a lot more since getting pregnant that my allergies have been a problem. Friday of last week I started feeling kind of blah but I figured it was just my Rhogam shot and it would be gone in no time. I wasn't so lucky. Sunday and Monday were the worst but I am feeling better today and trying to drink lots of fluids to keep stuff from settling in my lungs. Landry has still been a very active little girl and I love it.

Mama Bear Gene

2011-09-26T11:28:00.004-05:00

So weird that things happen (or come close to happening) right after you talk about them. My example? Discussing with my mom recently the way a pregnant woman is supposed to wear her seat belt and position her seat while driving in case an accident occurs and then nearly getting in, what I can only imagine, would have been a horrible car accident.

Yesterday, I was coming to a stop sign that, once I turned, would have put me on the service road to the Dallas North Tollway. As I was slowing down I heard tires screeching and looked over to see a royal blue Subaru about to hit me head on. Apparently, the guy driving had realized he was about to miss his turn and figured he could make it. It all happened in slow motion. After realizing he wasn't going to hit me head on, I braced for him to side swipe me on the front end and driver's side of my car. I waited, waited, and waited. Finally, I realized he had stopped just inches from my car. I honestly couldn't believe it. God must have been watching out for me because there is no way that guy shouldn't have hit me. By the time he stopped, the trunks of our cars were right next to each other and he was facing the opposite direction as me. I saw him roll down his window and stick his head out, I did the same thing. He said, "Um, are you okay?" My response was a bit vulgar, "No, I'm not okay - what the *bleep* are you doing you *bleeping* idiot? I'm 7 months pregnant, do you realize if you had hit me, on my side, going as fast as you were, you probably would've killed my baby? *BLEEEEEEEEP*!"

Okay, so maybe my response was a bit dramatic, but I haven't been that mad in a long time. The guy started his heartfelt apologies but I didn't want to hear it, I rolled up my window and drove off.

I once saw a news report of some idiot driving the wrong way on a highway and hitting a woman head on. Right after it happened, the woman got out of her car and immediately began beating the crap out of the other driver. The police pulled her off the guy (it was the end of a police chase) and she went back to her car and pulled an infant seat out of the back. I so understand what that woman was feeling at that moment.

I think I can officially mark yesterday and the day I got my Mama Bear Gene.

Homecoming Dress

2011-09-23T08:57:00.003-05:00

No, not high school homecoming, but homecoming from the hospital.

My mom got in the attic and found the outfit I wore home from the hospital just 25 short years ago (or 31, if you want to get technical), which will also be Landry's homecoming outfit. She also found a bunch of other dresses, dolls, and afghans that my Grammy made when I was a baby. Being the sentimental shmuck that I am, I can't wait to pass these items to Landry.

Here's the homecoming dress. I noticed the elastic in the bloomers aren't so stretchy anymore so I am going to see if we can fix that. If not, I'll just safety pin her into it. She's just wearing it home from the hospital so it doesn't have to be all that functional. I may also need to look into an under-onesie and some tights, as I came home in August and Landry will (hopefully) be coming home in December. Then again, December in Texas could mean 80 degrees, time will tell.

Glucose Test Results

2011-09-22T14:02:00.002-05:00

NORMAL

Which means I am healthy, Landry is healthy, and I don't have to go back for the 3 hour test! So excited for all 3!

Glucose Test

2011-09-21T10:46:00.006-05:00

I had my glucose test this morning - Blech! - those horror stories I heard about "the drink" are true. The best way I can describe the taste is a melted popsicle that has been left in the sun for a week. I just downed it. My instruction sheet said drink it within 3 minutes. I had it gone in less than a minute. I wanted it done.

I won't have the results until tomorrow. I am nervous because my doctor said that women with PCOS have a higher risk for gestational diabetes, but we'll see what happens. If I fail this one I will have to go for the 3 hour test before it's official. I also had my Rh Factor shot today, which I wasn't at all expecting. The nurse took me in the room and said, "Okay, I'll be right back with your shot." She gave me some paperwork to read and explained what it was and why I needed it. I know most reading this probably already know about this but I'll give you a brief rundown. Any pregnant woman that has a negative blood type has to get this shot. The shot prevents the body from attacking the baby as a foreign object if my body detects that the baby's blood type is positive (which is a good chance because Edward's blood type is positive). After Landry arrives her blood will be tested in the hospital. If she is positive, I'll have to have another shot. If she's negative, I won't. It's not a big deal, it's just a shot, I just find it interesting because it's one of those things I never would have thought about before. Oh, the things you learn with pregnacy.

My doctor said I am measuring from the outside right at 28 weeks (I was 27 + 1 day today) and the heartbeat sounded great. I've also only gained 1 pound since my last visit. I asked my doctor his opinion on induction and how that normally works. He said he'll induce as early as 39 weeks if I have started to progress naturally...unless there is a medical reason to do it earlier of course. I also asked how long he would let me go past my due date and he said no more than a week. That made me feel better, I've heard horror stories about women being pregnant for weeks after their due date and I did not want to be one of those women.

So we're rounding the corner towards the 3rd trimester and so far so good. I'll post my results from my glucose test as soon as I receive them!

27 Weeks

2011-09-19T16:36:00.000-05:00

You would have thought that since I have been pregnant for over 6 and a half months I would have learned my limitations by now. Yeah, not so much. I learned this very quickly this weekend.

Saturday morning I woke up early and went to my niece's softball game. It wasn't as miserably hot as it has been so I figured I would be okay. It was however one of those ridiculously humid, hard to breathe, hair curls when you step outside kind of days. I was up and down a lot taking pictures of her game. She did great by the way, got a double and the first big play of the game, we were all so excited.

Afterwards we rushed over to my nephew's baseball game. Again, I was up an down taking photos. At one point I was standing by the fence and felt a little dizzy so I sat down on the bleachers real quick. Tyler was up to bat soon after so I rushed over to get a good spot to shoot him. Glad I did, he also got a double. But, I soon realized I needed to sit down and mellow out because I was really hot, dizzy, and nauseous. I sat with my family on the bleachers but it wasn't helping. I headed over to a bench, but that was in the sun and I still couldn't get comfortable. I found some shade and parked in there for awhile. My niece came over soon after and asked if I was okay. I told her yes, I was just a little dizzy. But it wasn't going away. My heart started racing and I thought there was something seriously wrong with my blood pressure. I called my sister-in-law over and she took my pulse (by this time it had come back to normal) but she looked at me and said she thought I was overheated and needed to get in some A/C. My mom and niece ended up taking me back to my brother's house. I felt bad we had to leave the game early and was really bummed when I heard my nephew got dog piled after the game for having some really great plays. As soon as I got in the air conditioned car though I felt much better. Only then did my mom tell me, "Oh yeah, your cheeks are getting pink again." I asked her what she meant but that and she said they hadn't wanted to tell me but I was white as a ghost.

Once I got cooled off though I was much better and back to normal. Just a reminder that pregnancy comes with limitations.

A little later in the day, when it had cooled off and I was feeling back to normal, we were at my parents' house and I was playing whiffle baseball with my niece and nephew. My nephew pitched the ball to me and I hit a hard line drive, right to his face. He was in the process of ducking to miss the ball but it still got him. We all ran over to him and, with one hand cupped over the bridge of his nose, held out the other and said, "I'm okay."

I felt horrible!

I took him inside and put an ice pack on it (to which he thought was ridiculous) but soon realized there was no bruising, no swelling, no mark of any kind - except for the small scratch on his nose where his glasses hit. I knew it wasn't serious, but again, I felt horrible. He kept insisting he was fine. The next morning he woke up and told my mom, "Meme, my face is sore, but I'm okay."

Great, can't wait to see what damage I can do to Landry!

Here are a few pictures I took throughout the day - prior to the abuse inflicted on my poor nephew.

Baby's First Tutu

2011-09-15T20:26:00.003-05:00

My sweet friend Jennifer got Landry this adorable little tutu today. I loved it, and then it scared me because I realized how teeny it was. I said, "Oh my God, I can't believe I am going to have something this teeny!" To which Jenn responded, "Actually, she'll be smaller than that, she goes INSIDE the tutu."

A few weeks ago while looking at baby stuff Edward told me he didn't want our little girl to be one of those kids with the wide headbands and big flowers on her head.

I laughed. My poor husband.

I sent him a picture of the tutu today and he said, "Really? Oh my God!" I asked him if he realized what he was in store for and he said, "I think I'm finally getting an idea."

She'll probably be a total tomboy, hate pink, and never want to wear dresses. And you know what? I'm fine with that too. Actually, I would prefer her to be somewhere in the middle. I really can't picture myself with a little girl that's too dainty and can't hold her own.

But in the meantime, pink, lace, rhinestones, and flowers are just too damn cute.

26 Weeks - And a Name!

2011-09-12T10:25:00.004-05:00

I am so incredibly sore in my hips today. I am having a hard time walking, especially after sitting at my desk for extended periods of time. It may be because I had a pretty active weekend with lots of walking - or it could be my muscles are adjusting to my hips getting bigger. It could also be from the packing that Edward and I did this weekend. We are planning to move at the first of October to an apartment near my parents. It's something I haven't discussed much but will at a later time. Big changes coming. Either way, I see ice packs in my future tonight.

I got to spend some time with my niece and nephew this weekend - I can't believe how big they are getting. I was trying to get them to feel their baby cousin kick but they wouldn't go for it. They said it was too creepy - HA!

We officially have a name - and we decided on Landry. Edward knows Fedora isn't an option for a middle name - he tried suggesting Landry Shmandry but again he got veto'd. It will likely be Evelynn - my mom's mom was named Evelyn and my dad's dad was named Lynn so by naming her Evelynn with two N's we can get two family names in one!

I was supposed to go tomorrow for my glucose test but I had a mandatory offsite meeting come up for work so I'll be going next week. I am so not looking forward to "the drink" but I know it needs to be done. Fingers crossed I pass!

Regal Princess

2011-09-09T10:38:00.002-05:00

A few months ago I posted about judging a pageant and how, despite what the media might portray, they're not all as bad as they seem.

Yesterday the person that did the production video put out a trailer - and it looks awesome! I am sharing this because, while everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I ask you to watch this and see if you can spot one child in this video that isn't having an absolute blast. And yes, there are horribly offensive parents out there (hello, the woman that dressed her daughter as a prostitute on a recent episode of Toddlers and Tiaras) but remember, no matter what activity you have your kids in there is always going to be at least a few crazy parents that set a bad example. Plus, shows like Toddlers and Tiaras specifically set out to focus on the negative of these pageants, it's a fact. My friend made the comment that she wished they would contact her about filming her pageant so they could see a normal pageant doing good for the community. I asked her, "Why? What's the point? All they will do is find a way to spin it and make it offensive."

Okay, enough of my soap box. Check out the video. And the little girl at 1:04 and 1:37 is the one that told us in the interview room that there were criminals on her airplane and that she saw Jesus eat a dinosaur. Love that kid - she's hilarious - and you can totally see her personality in her performance!

25 Weeks

2011-09-06T11:09:00.002-05:00

Still chugging along - and extremely grateful for some cooler weather we've been having. I have been able to use the opportunity to go for some walks and get out of the house more.

I'm getting to the point in the pregnancy where I am finding it more difficult to do things and even harder to get comofortable - especially when I sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason at all. Not even to go to the bathroom, just wide awake. I figure it's my body's way of preparing me for all the sleep I will be losing soon. I've also been experiencing what I assume is Braxton Hicks. Every few days I'll just have a sudden tightening feeling in my stomach where it almost feels like a Charlie Horse. It usually lasts a few seconds and then goes away. I was reading online and it said that yes, Braxton Hicks can start this early and as long as you aren't having more than 4 a day, everything should be fine. But that does remind me, I need to put an e-mail in to my doctor.

Other than that no huge changes. She's still kicking a lot, especially once I get super still.

One For The Baby Book

2011-09-02T12:07:00.002-05:00

It's official, today is the day I woke up and realized I can no longer see my feet. *sigh*

24 Weeks

2011-08-30T13:00:00.004-05:00

I feel like I've hit a huge milestone this week. For awhile now I've been thinking, "24 weeks, 24 weeks, got to get to 24 weeks" and here we are! Baby girl is considered viable (with the help of severe medical intervention) but again, I'm perfectly happy with her staying put awhile longer.

She's still kicking like crazy, especially at bedtime, which can be annoying but I would rather know she's in there and active than not being able to feel her move. Now, if her most active time of day is going to be between 10:00 - 11:00 at night, we may have issues. But time will tell.

Edward and I "started" a baby registry on Sunday. I say started because I got so overwhelmed I had to stop. Seriously, who in God's name knew they made so many pacifiers? How many bottles do you register for? What size bottles? How do I know the best stroller/car seat/swing/play yard/bouncer/bathtub? I have enlisted the help of one of my friends. She has three kids 5 or under and I told her I needed massive amounts of HELP!

I'm still in my regular clothes. It cracks me up that I'm 6 months and still able to wear what I was wearing before - maybe a little more elastic waistbands than I care to admit - but at least I'll be able to wear a lot of this stuff after the fact. I'm so cheap, I am refusing to buy maternity stuff as long as possible. I don't want to spend the money on clothes right now unless absolutely needed. What's the point? Over the next year my body is going to change so much anyway (hopefully). I can live with stretch pants and empire waist dresses for awhile longer.

While a lot of pregnancy symptoms have been leveling out (nausea, fatigue, potty breaks, etc.) one thing I still can't get control of are my hormones. Oh my goodness, can we say super bitch? I don't like it, but right now, there's no way I can keep it bottled up. I know different people (and doctors) have told me different things about anti-depressants and pregnancy. Some are safe at this time, some are not-so-safe at this time, different people, different opinions. The face of the matter is I don't want to risk it. Yes, it *could* be safe, but it could also be dangerous. And I've been off them so long now I don't know what getting back on them would do. For right now, as long as my family and friends can tolerate it, I'm just going to go on without as long as possible.

I will say one thing, we've been getting a bit of a break lately in the heat and I have definitely seeing a difference! Thank goodness!

23 Weeks

2011-08-23T10:53:00.002-05:00

One more week and our little one is considered "viable" outside the womb - but of course I will be perfectly happy with her staying put awhile longer.

She is still kicking like mad. I've noticed it more at times when she feels cramped (like if I'm lying anywhere near my belly, bending over, or stretching my back with my elbows on my knees). She also likes to kick when she's hungry. I think she's going to get cranky like her daddy when it comes time to eat. If I lay on my back and concentrate I can see my belly jump when she kicks. Every now and then I'll feel her "swoosh" across my stomach which I can only imagine is an elbow or other body part repositioning itself.

I'm still a bit more hormonal than I would like, but what can you do? I cry at the most ridiculous situations (like at Chipotle last week when I was in line behind a deaf woman and it made me miss my grandpa - yeah - total sob fest once I got to my car) or while watching Big Brother and a contestant gives up her phone call to home for another contestant. It's ridiculous, I know, I can't help it. Pregnancy hormones are like PMS hormones on steroids. I like to call them my pregnancy meltdowns of the day. When I can check that off my list of things to do I know it's been a complete day.

I'm starting to get up at least once a night to potty. For awhile I was able to wait until early morning but now it's happening in the middle of the night. The only problem is it takes so long to get comfortable again that I have a hard time getting back to sleep before it's time to get up for work. I have a feeling I'll be sleeping in a recliner before the pregnancy is over.

Still chugging along, waiting for a bit of a break from this summer heat.

Names...Still Deciding

2011-08-22T14:42:00.002-05:00

No, we still haven't come to a full conclusion on a name. Here's what we have so far:

(Lynn was my grandfather on my dad's side, would like to incorporate the name if possible, maybe will end up being a middle name)

Madelynn (she would go by Mady) - I like this, but think it may be a bit too popular
Evelynn - My grandmother on my mom's side was Evelyn, I can add an N and get two family names for the price of one! Edward thinks it's a little too old fashion.
Analynn - This was the top runner for awhile but I am now just kind of EH on the name.
Gwendolynn (she would go by Gwen) - This would be Edward's top pick so far, I'm still on the fence.
Elizabeth - Not a strong running, but also a family name.
Landry - I thought of this on this weekend. Edward's response? "You mean like Tom Landry? Oooh! Let's name her Landry Fedora Medina!" I am liking Landry, obviously the middle name is still up for debate.

Thoughts?

Pregnancy Quote of the Day

2011-08-19T11:42:00.003-05:00

When I was at my doctor this week the nurse was asking if I would need any kind of note or prescription written for my job to accomodate the pregnancy (like if I needed extra bathroom or stretch breaks). I told her no thank you, I work in a very small office where it's pretty easy to take a break when need be. So said, "Okay, good, because I know some office (i.e. call centers) can be VERY strict when it comes to scheduled bathroom breaks." I told her, "No, my boss is the only man in an office full of women, if he sees one of us rushing to the bathroom he generally understands the idea that it's best not to ask why."

Things I Want My Daughter to Know...

2011-08-18T12:46:00.002-05:00

1. Be a Christian
2. Love your family and friends, even when they make you crazy.
3. Make intelligent decisions. Not only for yourself, but for others around you.
4. Have a giving heart, do things for others without expecting things in return.
5. While doing #4, know when to not let people walk all over you.
6. Don't expect others to do things for you. If you need something done, do it yourself.
7. Never settled for less than you know you deserve.
8. Know that you deserve the best.
9. People will hurt you, learn to forgive.
10. Don't forget (i.e. Learn from past experiences)
11. The world is not out to get you.
12. Make a difference in someone's life...for the better.
13. People can only make you feel the way you allow them to make you feel.
14. Don't surround yourself with people that bring you down.
15. Respect other people, no matter how they are different from you.
16. Be nice to EVERYONE.
17. Stand up for yourself.
18. Don't give in to the masses.
19. Peer pressure isn't just for teenagers.
20. Your mother is always right.

22 Weeks Come Early

2011-08-17T10:49:00.004-05:00

When I was at the doctor on Monday he changed my due date from December 24 to December 20, which moved me up a few days and now I am 22 weeks sooner than expected.

I absolutely love the show 19 Kids and Counting and got to thinking about when Michelle Duggar had little Josie, baby #19, she was only 25 weeks along. It never hit me before just how early that is. That would be like me having a baby 3 weeks from now! It did two things (1) got me thinking about (Heaven forbid) if something like that happened, would my baby survive like hers did? And (2) it made me extremely grateful to have such a healthy pregnancy so far. It's amazing to think how things can change in the blink of an eye.

Lately I've been wishing there was a safe anxiety medicine I could take while pregnant. I quit taking mine when I found out was pregnant, and I had been doing really well without it, until the sonogram tech confirmed it was a girl. Ever since then my mind has been on non-stop over drive. I have so many questions and concerns that come up. Can I do this? Can I do this RIGHT? Who will she grow up to be? Can I raise her to be a respectful person? Or will I lose my patience, get frustrated, and want to give up? (Not that I would, but would I WANT to?) These are all questions that constantly plague me. I'm scared. I'm scared of turning into a mother that I know I don't want to be.

I know it's impossible to do everything perfect, but if I can keep her out of jail, off the pole, and respectful to other people, I'll be happy.

Delivery Room Dads

2011-08-16T22:11:00.003-05:00

So this is a topic that not a lot of people talk about, but I'm interested to hear opinions.

Long before I ever found out I was pregnant, Edward had stated that he did NOT want to be in the delivery room when the time came for us to have a child. At first, I was horrified by his request. "How could the father of my child NOT be there???" I thought to myself. But then, I started to hear his reasoning, and talk to other people, and it started to make sense.

I've heard both men and women say that husbands admitted to feeling differently about their wife after giving birth. Not to say it was a negative different, but just different. I don't think it's something any man sets out to think or feel, it just happens. I asked Edward if he felt differently about his ex (not that their marriage was ever by any means in a good place) after their kids were born and he said it absolutely had an effect.

I've had a lot of people tell me that if he doesn't feel comfortable, don't force the issue. If he doesn't think he will feel comfortable, don't pressure him into it. He says he'll do whatever I would like, but again, I don't want him to be uncomfortable. I told him I am fine with him pacing the waiting room and handing out cigars if that's what he prefers. I think as long as he is there during the labor and not necessarily the delivery, I am good with that.

Then again, come delivery day, I may feel a little different. As he said, I might be screaming, "Where the hell is that beaner that did this to me? Someone drag his ass back in here so he can see what he did!" I think it will all come down to that day.

Sonogram Pictures

2011-08-16T09:04:00.001-05:00

And here she is! She has my big feet (poor thing). Still trying to make 100% sure of the name.

It's a....

2011-08-15T11:44:00.003-05:00

GIRL

It's official - most everyone has been thinking it for quite some time - but it's a girl!

My poor, sweet, little 10-year-old nephew is a little bummed. Of all his 1st cousins (4 so far, ours will be #5) they are all girls. I told his mom to remind him that my brother, his daddy, is the only boy on our mom's side and it could be very beneficial for him one day. She also reminded him that Uncle David (her brother) could possibly have a boy one day.

I was relieved that they said everything looks great so far - even things I didn't know look great (I'm still trying to figure out what a 3-section umbilical cord is, but according to the sono-tech, it's what we want).

I visited with my doctor for just a few minutes today but he confirmed everything looks good. He did change my due date to December 20 as opposed to December 24 (the further we can get from Christmas, the better). I am down another 3 pounds from my last visit, but again, he's not worried about it. He said if I was under weight and losing he might be concerned, but right now, it's fine.

He did reconfirm why I like him so much. My doctor is one of those laid-back, jump on the counter, and BS with you for awhile kind of docs. He's not uptight and someone you feel like you can't talk to. I was asking him about two instances I have had recently when I had been walking around a store and, when I went to get in line, suddenly felt very light-headed and faint. He said he gets that question about 20x a week and that it's perfectly normal, just a quick drop in blood pressure. He said since my bp is always good (and was good after the instance, I had taken it) that I shouldn't worry. He did ask if I was in Wal-Mart though. I told him no, actually it was Target. This was literally his response, "Really? You're the first person to tell me that didn't happen in Wal-Mart. I don't know what the f*ck it is about Wal-Mart but everyone wants to pass out there." I almost fell off the table I was laughing so hard. I called Edward to tell him about it - he had been there for the sono but had to get back to work - and I think he gained a lot more respect for my doc at that time. He thought it was pretty funny too.

I do my glucose test on my next visit. Lucikly though, they gave me the drink to take home and said I will need to drink it on an empty or almost empty stomach. I can eat if I need to, as long as it's low-sugar and low-carb. I'm glad I don't have to go to the office, get blood drawn, drink it, wait and hour, and then get tested again - which is what I was expecting. He said if I fail this test then we'll do another drawn out 3-hour test.

So, luckily everything so far is so good! Hope we can keep up a fairly ideal pregnancy!

21 Weeks

2011-08-12T13:53:00.002-05:00

This will be a short post.

Still a lot of kicking - the best part was yesterday (my birthday) Edward got to feel a kick for the first time. He was pretty excited.

And now, my first pregnancy photo. I think I look huge for 21 weeks, but again, I had too much belly when I got pregnant.

What's In a Name?

2011-08-10T15:26:00.005-05:00

Oh my God! The pressure of picking a name for your child! Who knew?

I think we finally have our minds made up - for this week anyway.

The boy name has been chosen since we found out I was pregnant. It's a name that Edward always really liked, and when he mentioned it, I really had never considered before but liked too.

Edward said the girl name was really up to me, but of course I wanted his feedback. I've been stuck on one name for awhile but it never really just felt "right" - I don't know how to explain it. I am sure anyone that is a parent will understand what I mean. I am wanting a name that (1) is not horribly common (2) can have a cute little one nickname but can also be a good grown-up name - as my mom says, "Think about a good name for her to have when she's president." (3) incorporated a certain family name that will be revealed later and (4) was not the same name as any serial killers/porn stars - and yes, I have Google'd.

We'll wait and see if this one sticks. If it ends up being a girl we may be at the hospital trying to choose a name for the birth certificate.

20 Weeks - Halfway There

2011-08-05T12:34:00.003-05:00

I can't believe this weekend I will be halfway to seeing my little one. It's crazy, it still doesn't seem real at times. I'm going to be a mom. Damn, that really needs to sink in.

I went over to my friend Jayme's on Wednesday night to see baby Lane. I was going to take some two month pictures of him but we ended up chatting so much that it never ended up happening. He is such a doll though and starting to smile, I just love him. Jayme and I were talking about how it really doesn't seem like I should be halfway there. She said it's because we waiting so long to make the announcement (I think I was 14 weeks, she was one of the few that knew way before). She did the same thing with Lane though and her pregnancy seemed to fly by.

I am noticing my pants fitting a little tighter, so even though I don't really see a big difference, things are obviously changing. I haven't really started buying maternity clothes. The few pieces I have bought I am hoping to get a lot of use of after pregnancy as well. I'm just trying to be smart about it and not spend ridiculous amounts of money on clothes I can't wear very often.

Things are still going really well. The baby is seriously kicking right now, because I just ate lunch. I'm sure it will stop soon once it nods off. I have been asked if I am having to get up a lot at night to potty and really, no. The only thing that seems to be waking me up more than the other is re-positioning myself, which is proving to be more difficult that it used to be. I've also noticed it's a lot harder to get up off the floor than it used to. Nothing major but definitely seeing a difference.

One week until we find out the gender. I'll be excited to quit calling the baby "it" and being able to refer to it by name. And yes, we have names (I keep going back and forth on the girl name but I think I have finally settled) but I will wait to announce until we know the gender. Stay tuned!

19 Weeks

2011-08-02T13:01:00.003-05:00

Nothing much changing so far. Still some movement but nothing felt by anyone on the outside world yet. It still kind of surprises me when something happens. I'll sit there and think, "Was that a kick? Or just other random acts of God?" Then I really stop myself and say, "No, that was a kick." I still don't think I have fully come to terms with what's going on in my belly. It's weird, it doesn't seem real sometimes. Maybe when I start showing more, which is hardly happening at all.

I'm still maintaining my -14 pounds. When I go back to the doctor in a couple of weeks I am very interested in seeing what it says. I figure if I am almost halfway through the pregnancy and haven't officially gained a pound, I'm doing okay. Even if I start to put on the "ideal" 30 pounds from this point it will really only be like gaining a total of 15 from the time I got pregnant.

I know it sounds like I focus a lot on my weight. And I do, I know that. Of course, I wouldn't care if I gained 100 pounds as long as the baby was healthy. But, on the other hand, my weight has been up and down since I was diagnosed with the PCOS. It's caused a lot of health problems for me over the years and especially with female issues prior to pregnancy. I know it's best for not only me, but also the baby, to really watch my weight over the next few months. I am also seriously concerned about gestational diabetes, something women with PCOS are more prone to.

So we'll be finding out in two weeks the gender - I hope - fingers crossed that baby's legs aren't! ha!

First Hand Pageant Experience - Not As Bad As People Think

2011-08-01T11:04:00.006-05:00

This weekend I was honored to be asked to judge a couple of events at a local pageant. Now, say what you will about pageants, yes some of the kids/parents are a nightmare, but I agreed to this one because I knew it would be different. It was a natural/toned down pageant which means they were looking for natural kids that didn't have the caked on make up and gobs of fake hair. No flippers (fake teeth) were even allowed at this pageant in any way shape or form. This was a pageant that really encouraged the kids to just be kids and I was so excited to see them all having fun.

I was so glad I was chosen to do interview because I don't think I have laughed as hard as I did Friday night in a very long time. I loved seeing the personalities of the kids and what their vivid imaginations came up with. One of the kids I scored really high on was a 5-year-old that was featured on "Toddlers and Tiaras" when she was 3. You may have seen the clip of her in her cute pink dress where she says, "I'm tired," and then dramatically falls off the stool. Search it on Youtube, they even featured her on "The Soup." This kid is nothing shy of imagination and personality.

I have to highlight her interview...

Picture 4 judges at a table with two chairs directly across (one for the contestant, one of the parent if the child was more comfortable with them there). The young lady at the door announces contestant #, her name, and her age. In struts (literally, struts) this 5-year-old firecracker. Mom sneaks in behind her and stands just inside the door. She parks it in the chair like she owns the room. Immediately, I am crazy about this kid.

So we have a bit of small talk with her and then the following conversation takes place (and mind you, she is dead serious during this talk).

Judge: So, *contestant name* where are you from?

Contestant: (with a thick Southern drawl) I'm from South Carolina.

Judge: Oh, did you come here on an airplane or drive in a car?

Contestant: I came on an airplane (leans in closer) but there were criminals on the plane.

Judge: There was?

Contestant: Yes, two of them, there was one back by the bathroom and I had to sneak by him to get to the potty so he wouldn't see me.

Mom shaking her head in the background and quietly giggling to herself.

Me: Wow, that's scary, how did you know he was a criminal?

Contestant: Because I *saw* him.

Judges are all laughing at this point, she's still dead serious.

Me: So what else happened on the plane ride?

Contestant: Well, Jesus came down from Heaven into the clouds and he ate a dinosaur. But it was okay, because he was Jesus so he wasn't hurt.

Most judges in tears at this point.

Judge: So, do you do any sports like gymnastics or tumbling?

Contestant: *sigh* Well, I used to do gymnastics but I got kicked out.

Mom: (laughs audibly) Yeah, that one's actually true.

Contestant: (whips around in her chair) Moooooom, I am the interview person, they are supposed to be interviewing me! Shhhhhhhhh!

I almost peed myself at this point.

Me: Why did you get kicked out?

Contestant: Because I wouldn't listen to the teacher.

We small talked with her some more but we were running out of time and sadly said goodbye. I could have sat there so much longer to see what she had to say.

I am so proud of the director for running a legitimate pageant that truly focused on not only how the child looks on the outside but also who they are on the inside. They also gave a special scholarship for the child that had participated in community service. I had a great time and can't wait to (hopefully) return next year.

18 Weeks

2011-07-22T11:45:00.004-05:00

I weighed myself last night and I am down another 4 pounds. That's 14 since I got pregnant. I try to go by what one particular scale says because all scales are different. I brought the issue up to my doctor on Monday and he wasn't concerned. He was just happy I wasn't one of those crazy women coming in saying, "Oh my God, I'm losing weight, my baby is dying!" Except he did it in this crazy woman's shrill voice that made me laugh. He said with the change in my diet and the nausea, it's actually pretty normal.

It's kind of funny because I'm not noticing my clothes fitting any different, I guess the belly is growing/staying the same but the weight loss is coming from other areas. I had a customer tell me a few weeks ago that my face looked slimmer. Hey, with what's about the happen over the next couple of months to the rest of my body, I'll take all of the help I can get.

I'll see what the dr/scale say when I got back on the 15th. I know it's just my diet changing so drastically that is the cause for the weight loss. I can't even drink diet sodas anymore without it being too sweet and making me sick. It's pretty much just water and milk these days. Which is another odd situation, I used to hate drinking milk and could only have it on cereal. Now, I can't get enough.

I got a little parenting test yesterday. A customer came in with her 18 month old twins. We were standing in the area of our office where the copier/printer/shredder is located. The little girl went over to the shredder and started pressing all the buttons and sticking her fingers down in the metal teeth of the shredder. I may have lost 10 years off my life, but I was able to get it unplugged before she figured out how to work the power switch. The mom, who was standing nearby (I just happened to be closer) gave me this wide-eyed thank you. I laughed nervously and told her, "I guess I need to be thinking on my toes since I have one on the way." She looked at me exhausted (her twins are #3 and #4 for her and her husband) and in her thick Ukraine accent said, "It's just one, right?" Ha! I laughed and told her yes, that was one of my first questions at my initial sonogram. Of course, Edward says our one child will probably be a bigger handful than twins anyway.

I'm shopping for a giant plastic ventilated bubble to keep the baby in once it arrives, just in case anyone knows of a good one, I'd appreciate the heads up, thanks.

Tyler's 10th Birthday Party

2011-07-21T10:40:00.003-05:00

This past weekend was my nephew's 10th birthday. Because his birthday is at the end of June they usually do a pool party at their house (even though Tyler declared this year he was "too old" for a theme party). It's easy, the kids love it, and it's basically the only thing you can do outside in Texas at the end of June anyway.

The kids all seemed to have a good time, and Tyler got exactly what he wanted, tons of gift cards. Even though Uncle Edward thought it would be funny to get Tyler a gift card maze. He had to get the little ball through the maze in order to get the gift card out. I'm so glad I saved the directions.

Here's a little photo collage from the day.

I was able to get pics of the other kids doing tricks by telling them they couldn't have cookie cake until they did a good trick. Why yes, I will be an amazing mom thanks to my bribery techniques, thanks for noticing.

August 15

2011-07-19T09:40:00.002-05:00

That should hopefully be the day we find out if I am baking a boy or a girl. I was hoping to find out yesterday but they didn't end up doing a sono. I will be honest and say I was a bit disappointed but at the same time I know 17 weeks could still be a little early to know for sure. It all kind of depends on if a boys goods have dropped or not. Now we'll find out at 21 weeks so hopefully it will be more accurate.

Popular opinion is that it's a girl, which probably means it's a boy. We'll find out soon enough...hopefully.

Bubbles

2011-07-18T09:20:00.002-05:00

I have officially started feeling kicks/movements. I mentioned before that I had been feeling bubbles but I wasn't sure if it was the baby or something else. This time I'm sure. I felt it Saturday night and the bubbles were slower and more distinct. Then, around the same time on Sunday, and in the exact same place in my belly, I felt it again. I thought it would be too early for that but according to my pregnancy websites, this is normal. So cool to finally understand what people mean when they talk about the "bubbles" in their belly.

17 Weeks

2011-07-16T08:50:00.000-05:00

And bring on the heart burn. I was never one that was prone to heart burn. I would get it occasionally, but nothing ever serious. Yesterday I had chicken and potatoes from Boston Market and the heart burn started almost immediately. I could understand if it was friend chicken, but rotisserie? I'm hoping it may have just been a one time thing, but we shall see.

The other day, while trying to use up the rest of my lunch hour, I watched a video of a birth on Youtube. Big mistake! Apparently I had a seen a clear full-frontal portrayal of "the miracle of life" since I watched The Miracle of Life in the 8th grade. I should have stuck with my faded memories. After seeing that, not only have I determined I want a c-section, I also never again need to see a woman's hoo-ha being stitched up. Why did I not pause that video right after starting it???

My mom did the "needle test" the other day to determine what and how many babies I will be having. She said, "Well, according to this you're having a girl...and this also says you're only having one child." Ha! I could've told you that!

I'm going to stick a needle in my eye now and try to remove the image of that birthing video.

Everyone Has Their Thing

2011-07-14T11:44:00.016-05:00

Everyone has that one thing. You know, the thing that shouldn't be scary but terrifies the hell out of someone? Some people it's cats, some people it's clowns, mine is statues.

Now, I should also state that marble, granite, basically any statue in stone doesn't bother me. When my mom and I made a trip to Washington, DC I was perfectly at ease visiting the monuments. It's the ones that are made to look realistic that give me nightmares.

The first real terrifying moment that I recall was actually back in my early 20s. No, this isn't some deep-seeded phobia I have had since I was a kid, it's actually fairly new. I was celebrating the 4th of July with some friends at the Gaylord Texan Hotel and we were out walking around and taking in the scenery. Someone pointed out a bronzed cowboy statue. Right away, I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Disclosure: This is not the cowboy in question, just an equally as terrifying one.

We were all examining it up close, trying to determine if it was real, but it was when my face was about 6 inches from the statue's face when I said, "You guys think it's real?" that the statue - without moving a muscle - turned it's eyes toward me to make eye contact - then, without moving anything else, turned his head towards me - and blinked once.

This would also be the moment that I may or may not have lost control of my bodily functions.

My friends all got a kick out of it, especially when he started following me throughout the hotel. I've been tormented ever since.

A few Christmas's ago a couple of my friends posted pictures of their "Shelf Elf's" - OMG - have you ever seen these things?

His job is to sit on your shelf and "watch" your children to make sure they are being good. Then, on Christmas Eve, he flys up the chimney and to the North Pole to tell Santa if your child should be on the naughty or nice list.

That's what they want you the believe.

In my head, he sits on your shelf, and scares the living hell out of your children by whispering, "I'm going to kill you," in their sleep - thus forcing your children into behaving (hey, I guess whatever works). And if they misbehave, he climbs down from the shelf and gouges eyes out with his pointy little hat.

No one else sees that? Just me?

My mom has this old doll that belonged to her mother when she was a little girl. She keeps her safely under a plastic cover. She says it's to keep the doll from getting dirty. I think it's a protective barrier to keep the rest of us safe.

She lives in the closet now - facing the corner - but I still think she escapes at night and stares at you while you sleep. Either that or she's out in the woods making figurines with twigs in Burkittsville, Maryland.

I need a Xanax after posting this blog.

16 Weeks - Damn This Heat

2011-07-11T09:01:00.003-05:00

I am officially 4 months! That's doesn't really mean anything significant - just another month. I am starting to feel weird things in my belly. Sometimes it will feel like a rapid succession of bubbles. I don't know if it's actually kicking/movement or if it's just my imagination. The "bubbles" seem to be too fast to be movement but I really don't know. I've only felt it a couple of times so I know over the next 4 weeks or so it will get more defined.

This heat is totally kicking my ass. Sorry, but it is. I know I'm not big and pregnant yet but being outside drains every bit of small energy I have. I was walking around Lowes with my mom on Saturday and I stayed in the shade with a cold bottle of water while she was hunting the nursery for plants. It's miserable. I was born in August of 1980 - one of the worst summers ever. Now I am pregnant in what is being called the worst summers since then. Yeah, my mom is laughing.

I am getting my appetite back but trying to keep it healthy. After Lowes my mom and I went and ordered lunch to-go. The entire way back to her house from the restaurant I was starving and smelling the food. Before pulling into the garage, my mom has to let me out of the car because once she pulls in, there's no escape. I took the food in the house with me. By the time she had parked, gotten all of her stuff, shut the garage door, and made it into the house, I was already sitting at the table eating. She started laughing, "You hungry?" I just smiled and kept on with my pasta. Yes, in fact, I was hungry.

I've been having very random cravings lately, most intense: Long John Silver (haven't had that in years), Hawaiian Punch, and Root Beer Floats. I haven't been giving into my bad cravings - just the good ones like apples. Well, okay, I have been giving into my chips and hot sauce craving, but that's got to be better than Long John Silver!

Stretch Marks

2011-07-07T08:37:00.006-05:00

I am terrified of getting stretch marks with this pregnancy. Yes, there are much less superficial things I should worry about - and I do worry about those things too obviously - but for now, let me be shallow.

I know I'm going to get them. I got them on my boobs and hips when I went through puberty. Luckily, they faded. I have noticed some on my lower belly lately. I'm not sure if they are new from the pregnancy or just ones that have been there awhile from pre-pregnancy weight gain (don't judge).

Regardless, I don't plan on going down without a fight.

I have an almost full 32 oz. bottle of Queen Helene's Cocoa Butter that I plan on using all of in the next 5 and a half months.

Anyone out there have any other suggestions? Please?

15 Weeks

2011-07-06T09:05:00.002-05:00

Not a lot has changed since my week 14 post. The nausea seems to be getting a bit better but my aversion to pretty much all food seems to remain. When I do eat I seem to be craving more fruits and veggies (hot sauce counts as fruits and veggies, right?) and a lot of milk. I've also been drinking tons of water and taking my prenatal vitamins so my doctor doesn't seem too concerned. I have lost about 10 pounds since finding out I was pregnant, but again, because I was a bit overweight to begin with my doctor doesn't seem overly concerned but will continue to monitor my weight.

I have another appointment on the 18th and I am hoping that we may be able to find out the sex, but I'm not sure if they are planning another sono or not. Fingers crossed if we can find out the little one cooperates and shows us the goods.

Lane and Mommy

2011-06-30T10:07:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday Tyler

2011-06-28T09:42:00.002-05:00

This has been a milestone year for both of my brother's kids. Katelynn turned 13 in January and now Tyler is turning 10!

And yet, while they both continue to get older, I miraculously haven't aged a day. Strange.

Sorry He Asked

2011-06-27T12:52:00.003-05:00

My boss, being the only man in a 3.5 person office, gets a little squirmy when we talk about anything female related. Not like we are sitting around talking about our periods all day everyday, but even the royal wedding became a debate in our office as boss-man just couldn't see what the big damn deal was. All the while Jennifer and I were daydreaming of a royal wedding and wearing makeshift tiaras on our heads. He is a man's man and just doesn't get it.

So, on Friday, while I was sitting at my desk looking a little green in the gills and very obviously trying to hold back my barf, I had the following conversation with Boss-man:

Boss: What's wrong with you?
Me: I'm pregnant and nauseous.
Boss: *shiver* Nevermind.

Just wait until we start talking breast feeding.

Pregnancy - 14 Weeks

2011-06-24T18:47:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I won't be 14 weeks until tomorrow but close enough.

I don't want to sound ungrateful for being able to get pregnant (especially when I never thought I could) but at the same time I want to be honest about what I am feeling right now.

If things continue to go the way they are now, this will be the only child to pass through my loins. I'm sorry, but physically, pregnancy sucks so far. I mentioned I am nauseous but I am also having a lot of other uncomfortableness as well.

Cramps - I know people hear cramps during pregnancy and automatically think miscarriage but apparently it's pretty common. I know they are just growing pains but still, it hurts.

Back - My back pain has been excruciating. I've had back problems for years (I have two bulging discs in my lower back) but pregnancy back pain is different. Edward and I were walking around Target one weekend and I literally had to hold onto him like a little old lady I was in so much pain. If I'm on my feet a lot I usually have to find a place to go and sit or lean for a little while. Luckily, there is a chiropractor next door to my office. I went in there one day and he did a quick adjustment for free. I asked him if he thought it was my bulging discs giving me problems and he said no, he could tell right away that it was my pelvis spreading that was causing the issues. As soon as he did the adjustment it was like night and day. It is starting to hurt again - not nearly like it was - so I may be going to see him every few weeks. Also, bonus, he does adjustments on newborns and I definitely want to take part in that once the baby arrives.

I haven't begun showing yet, I figured because I already had more of a belly than I needed to begin with, my body is making adjustments on its own. I also think that may be the reason for the nausea and lack of appetite. It's like my body's way of making sure I don't gain too much more weight than I have already been carrying. I know this will make it harder to lose baby weight after the arrival, but I am hoping to start doing some slow walking after the baby comes. Plus, and although this isn't my main focus for wanting to breastfeed, I really think that will help a lot too.

I am so lucky to have a great group of women around me to offer advice. Obviously my mom and sister-in-law's will be getting a lot of phone calls. Plus, my friend Jennifer at work knows a ton about birthing babies. I love that she is brutally honest with me too. I need to hear that. And both my friends Jayme and Shannon just had babies within the last few months so I am sure they will be a great heap of knowledge of the baby equipment that I really need and what not to waste time/money on.

I will try to post weekly updates but my pregnancy brain might get the best of me, we'll see how it goes.

Baby on Board

2011-06-16T16:36:00.010-05:00

Yep, it's official, we have a bun in the oven! Well, I do anyway. As of this weekend I will be 14 weeks along. I have been holding off announcing it because, with my PCOS being a increased risk of miscarriage, I wanted to wait until I made it through the first trimester. Our immediate families know and just a handful of friends but now I am making the BIG announcement.

The baby is due December 24, which means even before the kid arrives it has a reason to require therapy, other than having me as a mother of course.

I have had pretty much every pregnancy symptom one can have - especially the nausea. I was hoping now that I am into my 2nd trimester it would subside a bit but sadly, it doesn't seem to be the case.

Here are some things I was surprised about pregnancy symptoms. Being a first-timer I've always heard people tell stories about their symptoms but everyone is different. I wasn't sure what I was in for...

Nausea/Vomiting/Lack of Appetite - Pregnancy just may be the most effective diet I have ever been on. Don't worry, I am eating but sometimes I have to force myself because nothing sounds appealing. The few things I have been craving are fruits, veggies, and salsa - LOTS of salsa.

Potty Breaks - I drink a drop and pee a gallon, no, I'm not exaggerating.

Emotional Roller Coaster - One day Edward came home from work and I was sitting on the couch bawling....I mean heaving crying. Edward asked me what was wrong and I said, "Captain Phil Harris died." "Um, who?" "Captain Phil Harris, from the Deadliest Catch, he died." "Um, didn't he die like a year ago?" "Yes, but they just re-aired the episode and it's still really sad!" I cry at least once a day now - sometimes more. And don't even get me started on watching the Mavericks victory parade on TV. I was just so proud! *tear*

Exhaustion - This is getting better into the 2nd trimester...1st trimester, well, I was late to work a lot because I couldn't get out of bed.

Pregnancy Brain - Wait. What was I going to say about pregnancy brain? I forget.

So, what are we having? Well, I am thinking girl, but I know Edward kind of wants another boy. The reason I think it's a girl is for a few reasons (1) I am craving the same foods with my pregnancy that my mom craved when she was pregnant with me (she had very different cravings for my brother and I) (2) every stupid online quiz/Asian Calendar/old wives tale test I have done says girl and (3) because I once heard somewhere if you are having extreme symptoms - especially the nausea - it's a girl. I know these are all bogus predictions. I guess we'll have to wait a couple of months to find out for sure...and let's just hope that works out and the kid cooperates (being that it is made up of Edward and I, chances of that happening are slim to none).

Oh, and my friend's 12-year-old daughter was looking at a sonogram picture and lovingly said, "It looks like a peanut," so I think until we know for sure that's going to be the nickname.

Welcome Baby Fears

2011-06-03T22:35:00.004-05:00

Over the last couple of months I posted pictures of my friend Jayme's baby shower and I posted photos from her maternity pictures we did.

Well, I am happy to announce that baby Lane Greggory has finally arrived after what possibly may have been the easiest labor I have ever heard of.

He is absolutely adorable and has already broken me in by pooping on me at the hospital.

Congratulations to Jayme, Jake, and the rest of the Madsen and Fears families!

Sympathy: To Give or Not To Give

2011-05-22T20:04:00.005-05:00

I've learned a lot from my friends Jennifer and Mike about special needs children since their son Jude was born. I'd never heard an insider's perspective on that situation before them. They never ask for sympathy - they love their son whole heartedly - no matter what. But today, I had a little emotional breakdown.

Edward and I were leaving the mall (one that just happened to have an ice rink). We were walking along the outer edge and I saw a boy, about 16, in a wheelchair with a nasal cannula in place. He was watching all of the other kids out on the rink. He didn't look as though he was longing to be out there too, just the opposite actually. He looked like he was just enjoying being there. As we were coming closer he looked at me and I made eye contact and smiled at him. He gave me the biggest - toothiest grin I have ever seen. His face lit up.

After we past him I broke down into a heaving pile of tears.

Edward asked me what was wrong - there were two things: (1) I felt bad that he couldn't be out there skating like the other kids. Edward told me he probably didn't mentally realize what all was going on - but I disagreed - I think by having the comprehension to smile back at me when I smiled at him - it made me think he knew what he was seeing. (2) I think about all of the times he probably gets stared at and, as soon as he makes eye contact with someone, they probably avert their eyes to avoid him. They don't want to seem rude, like they were staring. But, they also don't want to have any actual interaction. Like special needs is contagious or something.

It broke my heart and made me appreciate (but never fully understand) special needs families even more.

Spiders

2011-05-19T09:13:00.002-05:00

About a week or two ago Edward and I were sitting on the balcony talking (probably about stuff we didn't want the kids to hear - that's where we do most of our talking about important stuff). Marcantoni was on the computer in the living room and Veronica was in their room. She came out and told us there was a teeny tiny spider that had come down on a web in the room.

We looked at her and basically said, "Okay, go kill it." Yeah, that wasn't happening. So we told her, "Go back to your room Veronica, it's fine." She whined, "But it's gone and I don't know where it is and I don't want it coming back and landing on me and me not know it." Finally, out of pure exhaustion I got up and went in the room.

I said, "Alright, where was it?" She told me it came down from the light on the ceiling fan. I stood there for a few seconds, deeply studying the light, searching for the spider. I reached up, picked something off the light, said, "Okay - it's gone," and walked out of the room to her breathing a sigh of relief.

I walked back outside and Edward said, "Did you kill it?" To which I responded, "Well, she thinks I did."

I never did find the spider and since I never heard another mention of it - I guess neither did she.

Playing Fair

2011-05-16T20:51:00.003-05:00

My 9-year-old nephew absolutely cracks me up - he has so much personality - he is so much like his dad (my brother) it's scary.

Yesterday we were over at my parents' house for a family lunch. It was kind of a combined birthdays/Mother's Day get together. Edward wasn't feeling well so he stayed home. Our kids were with friends (anytime they can go with friends and get out of the house - we greatly encourage it) and my sis-in-law was at work. So it ended up being just my parents, my brother, his kids, and me.

We were almost done with the meal and I heard Katelynn (my niece) say, "Why are you cutting your spaghetti with your knife?" I looked over and Tyler, without a pause, said, "Because I feel bad for it, I think it feels left out." I almost choked. I'm not sure if he legitimately felt bad for his knife or if he was just being a total smart-ass (both are completely plausible) but it was one of his sayings that I will never forget.

Love that kid!

Merritt Family

2011-05-06T10:05:00.006-05:00

In honor of all of the mother's pictures that are going up on Facebook for Mother's Day my momma posted some very old photos of her family. They were pictures that used to hang in our house when I was a kid but I hadn't forgotten about since. I used to love those photos - I wondered about the family members that I had never met - what they were like.

The photos made me a little nostalgic - missing my grandparents (all of them) and wishing I had more time with them. I also was amazed when I saw a picture of my great great grandparents and realized how much my mom looked like this distant relative. I'd seen the photo hundreds of times before, but I never noticed the similarities. Even my cousin made a comment about it. This was on my mom's dad's side - those are some strong genes!

Here are some other photos that my mom posted that I just love...

My grandparents on their wedding day.

The wedding party - my great Aunt Elizabeth (lovingly known as Auntie), my grandfather's sister, is standing to the right of my grandmother.

My grandfather and his sister as kids (seriously, how cute is she with her little curls?)

And a picture of my sweet Grammy and Grampy later in life - circa late 80s or early 90s I'm guessing.

Things My Mom Says - Part 2

2011-05-05T20:16:00.007-05:00

I had to do a follow up from my previous posts because she just keeps getting better.

This story is about 12 years old - and Kristie Hyde please pay attention because you'll love this (if I haven't already told you). My friend John used to live up in the HEB area and we were supposed to go hang out but I never heard from him. Which was really weird because John was/is one of those rare cases of a reliable man. I thought it was odd but figured I would hear from him eventually. The next day he called to tell me that the night before he had been in a car accident but was okay. He used to drive a little Chevy pickup and had gotten rear ended by someone. When they hit him, his head hit the back window of the truck and broke the glass. Hence the reason for not hearing from him. I was telling my mom the story about what had happened and, with great concern, she asked me, "Oh my God - was it a single or extended cab?"

I sat there for a minute and just said, "Single."

Today I was talking to my mom and she was most concerned about a squirrel that had been climbing her bird feeder in the backyard and eating the seeds. She said she sat there and watched him climb the metal pole the food was hanging from. She said, "I'm gonna get out there and spray some Pam on the pole and watch the little son of a bitch try to climb it then."

I'm sure I'll think of more - if you have a favorite - please add below or remind me and I will post it.

Just for the record, I love my mom and I'm not trying to tease her, I just love her sayings.

Jayme's Maternity Pictures

2011-05-02T14:48:00.004-05:00

About a month ago I mentioned going to my dear friend Jayme's baby shower. I was kind of bummed that she didn't have a bigger baby bump at the time because I knew we were going to be doing maternity pictures within the next few weeks. Lucky for me, Jayme seemed to be one of those pregnant women that quickly got a nice full baby bump.

And no matter what she says, she still looks amazing and is all baby! Seriously, if you were looking at her from behind you'd never know she was pregnant. Her arms, her legs, her face, everything is still the same except for the bump.

I was really happy with some of the photos we got. Some of the others, not so much. I wish I had gotten some better pictures with the dogs but maybe once the baby actually arrives I can do some newborn photos (hint, hint, Jayme).

This last one I just had to share. When we let the dogs out to do some outdoor photos Jake's dog Dallas went nuts, you would have thought she had never been outside before. I had to take these "blooper" photos to show Jake's determination and Jayme's frustration (and of course, the finished product) of photographing with pets.

Softball Sweetie

2011-04-25T15:15:00.005-05:00

Saturday Edward was at work and the kids were with their mom so I headed out to my niece's softball game. I haven't been able to get out to a game this season so I was excited to see her play - and apparently her team has been doing really well!

She did great and I was so proud of her. Her first time up to bat she got walked but stole second and ended up bringing it home with her slide. I was so impressed, I didn't even know she could slide like that!

A bit later in the game she caught a pop-up (one that even she looked surprised to catch) for a 3rd out. Her second time up to bat she struck out but, being the good sport she is, she shook it off and had a great game. I was really impressed with her. Even if a ball wasn't coming her way she knew what to do, where to be, and was always ready to go.

And on another note, I don't know if parents have money on these games or what but that is the only conclusion I can come to for explaining some of their behavior. It amazes me. This isn't the major leagues, these games don't depend on whether or not these kids get college scholarships, they're 13-years-old for crying out loud. That's what I wanted to say to a mom (on our opponents' team) when she berated an umpire for making an honest mistake. I just don't get it.

Flat Tire

2011-04-18T10:08:00.003-05:00

Well, it finally happened. After 14.5 years of driving I ended up on the side of the highway with a flat tire.

I had left work early on Friday to pick Marcantoni up from school and noticed my "Check Tire Pressure" light was lit up. I didn't think much of it because every time the temperature drops 10 degrees it seems like that stupid light comes on. I text Edward and he said he would look at it when he got home.

Just as I was coming up George Bush my car started making this horrendous noise. At first I thought it was another car around me because the steering didn't change - then the wheel started vibrating like crazy. I knew what had happened but I wasn't in a place where I could pull over. I had to drive another quarter mile or so before I could get pulled over. A nice man in an SUV pulled up next to me and mouthed, "You have a flat tire!" I just waived, smiled, and mouthed back, "I know." He waived in acknowledgement that I knew and then drove on. Sheesh!

I called Edward and told him he was going to have to find someone to pick up Marcantoni because I couldn't do it. I told him I would call our Roadside Assistance (it was 5:00 and Edward had to close at work so he couldn't get off until 7:00) to help me come change the tire. I knew it would be about 45 minutes before they could get there, and since I wasn't far from my parents' house I called my dad. Luckily, he was able to get out there and put the spare on.

Edward took my car to work today and was already able to get a new tire put on.
I don't know what happened, but my tire just gave out, big split down the side. I know the tread couldn't have been too low because I just had the inspection done - and it passed. Oh well, glad everything was taken care of and I'm safe and didn't hurt anyone around me.

Flanigan Girls

2011-04-09T21:45:00.002-05:00

I was so excited to see my friend Shannon and her husband Casey this weekend and hold their sweet newborn in my arms. I hadn't seen Shannon since my wedding so a visit was long overdo. Plus, I keep reading on her blog all the hilarious stories she has to tell about her 2.5 year old Morgan, and believe me, she doesn't exaggerate, the kid is a trip! Also, I of course had to get my camera out there and see if I could get any good shots of these adorable and beautiful little girls. Just for the record, pictures don't do Morgan justice, she's gorgeous! Check out the full album here.

"Was that my dad?"

2011-04-04T09:27:00.002-05:00

Saturday night Edward and I were watching TV and one of those 60-second infommercials came on. You know the ones that aren't a full 30-minute segment but it's still an infommercial? The screen was flashing with all the "satisfied customers" and a man appeared talking about the product. I immediately asked Edward, "Holy s**t, was that my dad?" He had been busy looking at the car behind the man so he hit rewind (gotta love the DVR) and paused it. We both immediately started cracking up at just how much the man looked like my dad. You can judge for yourself...

Bluebonnets, Part 2

2011-04-04T09:16:00.006-05:00

We girls (my mom, Veronica, and I) made a little day trip to drive down to Ennis, TX and check out some of their famous bluebonnets. It was nice to get away for the day, even though we missed my niece Katelynn being able to join us.

From my previous post you can see that I was able to get some pictures of the flowers that I was extremely happy about!

A few weekends ago when my mom and I were in Grand Prairie and came across the bluebonnets we tried to get a picture of her dog Chloe in them, but that didn't pan out so well. We took her with us this weekend to try again. Veronica took her up the hill, mom stood at the bottom, and we let her find her way to her. At first, you couldn't see anything, but then slowly the white little fluff ball started creeping her way out of the flowers. Here's a little collage of her progression through the bluebonnets.

Funny story, when we first got out to take pictures I was down in the grass with my camera and immediately got more than a few ant bites all over my hand. As we were driving home I mentioned to my mom how one of the bites had turned into a large knot on my hand. She said, "Oh, that's because you're allergic to ants." Taken by surprise I asked her, "I am?" "Yeah, your pediatrician told me when you were a baby." I was stunned - I literally had no idea I was allergic to ants. Mom mentioned that allergies change all the time and it likely wasn't an issue anymore and why I had never had problems with prior ant bites. Glad I can laugh about it now considering I never had any bad reactions before.

Bluebonnets, Part 1

2011-04-03T17:53:00.004-05:00

Here are some pictures I took on Saturday - more plus a funny story coming soon!

Sneak Preview

2011-04-01T12:13:00.004-05:00

My mom and I are planning a little trip down to Ennis this weekend to check out the Bluebonnet Trails. Here is a camera-phone picture I took last weekend of some local bluebonnets. My mom and I went to our favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant in my hometown (Don Juan's for my GP friends) and, while visiting some of the old sites, we stumbled on this GORGEOUS patch across from my middle school. I'm hoping there will be many more of these photos to come.

Jayme's Baby Shower

2011-03-29T11:20:00.004-05:00

This weekend was my very good friend Jayme's baby shower. I am so excited that after a long, emotional, and physically challenging road she is finally expecting. She and her husband Jake are awaiting their little one's arrival in early June. They don't know what they're having and waiting to be surprised. Which is great, but good Lord I never realized how difficult it is to buy non-gender specific items for a baby!

I'm so excited for this couple and can't wait to do some maternity picture next month - although I hope she gets more of a belly by then - you'd never know she was 30 weeks pregnant by looking at her!

Asian Mart

2011-03-28T09:25:00.003-05:00

Edward has really been wanting to check out this Asian mart near my parents house. He always loves to go explore and check out new things - especially from other countries and cultures. It was definitely a different experience. There were things in there I have never seen before and probably could go the rest of my life without ever seeing again.

Fruits that I have never heard of (I still need to Google Jack Fruit) - and the fish - O.M.G. - the fish. I don't like seafood, the thought of sushi makes me gag, and some of the things I saw there may possibly give me nightmares.

St. Patrick's Day 2011

2011-03-14T20:26:00.009-05:00

Saturday Edward and I sucked it up and despite us both feeling under the weather we headed down to Greenville Ave. to check out the St. Patrick's Day Parade.

Hard working street vendor

This little girl was SO cute - all decked out in her green and holding up her dress the entire time she walked so it wouldn't drag the ground!

I love capturing candids of kids - this little boy was very concerned about the mud on his shoes.

This little one was next to me along the parade route - every few minutes she would tap me on the back of the leg - I would turn around, smile, tell her hi, and she would wave - I would turn back toward the parade and a few minutes later the routine started all over.

I love the firefighters - seeing them always makes me a little emotional if that makes sense - I feel very proud and grateful for who they are and what they do.

These next few pictures don't really need too much explanation:

The aftermath

Just A Swingin'

2011-02-28T09:56:00.005-06:00

Saturday was a great day but busy, busy, busy! Edward had to work and the kids were with their mom so I had the day to myself.

I woke up early that morning because my dear friend Kerrie was organizing a vendor day at her apartment complex and asked me if I wanted to come set up my Scentsy table. I jumped at the chance because Scentsy hasn't been going as well as I would like. I didn't make any actual sales at the event but I talked to a lot of people, gave out a lot of catalogs, and have already had a couple of orders come through my website. A huge thanks to Kerrie for keeping me in mind for the event!

After that was over I took all my Scentsy goodies home, picked up Rex and my camera, and headed to my parents' house. My mom had my niece and nephew over so I went to spend some time with them for a bit. The kids were playing on the swingset and I wanted to get some action shots of them being the little daredevils that they are. I was able to get some good ones and they had a blast letting me take these.

And God love my 60+ year old mother. You would never know her age by looking or talking to her. Notice the picture of her on the swing? The kids swingset isn't anchored down so when they both swing she usually sits on the crossbar to hold it down. This weekend she decided to just sit on the bar swing. The woman cracks me up.

Sunday Edward and I ran a few errands and generally took it easy. It was nice and relaxing.

Toddlers and Tiaras

2011-02-24T12:25:00.003-06:00

So while I was knocked on my butt with pneumonia I spent a lot of time watching TV and got particularly caught up in the "Toddlers and Tiaras" marathon TLC was having one day.

Oh.My.God! I thought "Bret Michaels: Rock of Love Tour Bus" was a train wreck of TV goodness? I hadn't seen nothing yet!

Now, let me just say that I am in no way knocking pageant systems. I believe that, given the right people involved, a pageant can be a totally fun and rewarding event for kids. Let me restate that, GIVEN THE RIGHT PEOPLE INVOLVED.

In fact, I am participating as an interview judge for a pageant in July (shameless plug, go check out the Regal Princess Pageant on Facebook).

But, "Toddlers and Tiaras" doesn't feature those good and down to Earth people on their show - that wouldn't be any fun - no one wants to watch those people! So, may I present to you my favorite hot mess of the show, she's 4 year old Makenzie. And when I say favorite I mean I would probably stab myself in the eye with a dull pencil if I had to be this child's mother but God bless if she doesn't make for great TV.

Taking Notice

2011-02-23T15:03:00.003-06:00

Today Jenn-at-work's husband had to come by the office with Jude and their weekday nurse Charlotte. I went up front to say hello and she asked me if I had been losing weight. I - in the most giddy fashion known to man - told her, "I have and thank you so much for noticing!"

Maybe there IS something to this whole eating healthy trend I have heard so many people speak of over the years - wow - who'd of thought?

Dog Park Follow Up

2011-02-22T16:42:00.004-06:00

Just a follow up from my last blog where I mentioned we had taken Rex to the dog park - this was him that evening - totally wiped out and using mommy's (very white and desperately needing a tan) leg as a pillow.

Spring Is Sprung

2011-02-21T11:17:00.005-06:00

I can't begin to tell you how giddy and excited I am that we are having nice weather in North Texas. I am sure it's going to end up biting me in the butt one of these days when temperatures fall 40 degrees in two hours, but the 70+ degree weather has been amazing.

Saturday we were able to get out and take Rex to the dog park. The past few weekends every time we go we nearly had to park in the street because there have been so many people there. Rex has especially been loving it - plenty of doggy butts to sniff!

Edward also took the opportunity to plant some pepper seeds that Marcantoni had gotten at the store and wanted to try and grow. I'm not a big pepper person, but I am interested to see if anything comes of it. I was also able to get some pictures of the trees and flowers that are beginning to bloom. As much as I love the oranges/yellows/and reds of the fall, nothing beats the colors of spring.

I'm really not looking forward to the 100+ degree weather that is just a few short months away, but I am not going to worry about that now and just enjoy the weather we are having.

If You Can't Stand the Heat

2011-02-15T20:43:00.004-06:00

Just another reason I shouldn't be allowed to cook

I was frying bacon so the boys (Veronica still isn't eating meat and I can't eat bacon on my diet) could have BLT's for dinner. As I was moving the strips around the pan a grease bubble exploded across three of my fingers. Not just the fingers, but the knuckles, so now every time I try to bend my fingers it throbs. I can't wait to see what different colors they are tomorrow.

Edward felt really bad, he said the BLT's were really good tonight (maybe he was just trying to make me feel better). I asked him if he could taste the tears and agony that went into the bacon. He held the plate up to his ear and said, "Yes, and I can hear the screams too."

Too bad I am right handed.

It's Alive

2011-02-10T16:33:00.004-06:00

All I can say is thank God for antibiotics and humidifiers - I don't think I would have survived the last week without them.

I ended up missing Monday at work and I am so grateful to Sarah that used to work in our office. She was scheduled to come in a few days this week and work while the other Jenn is on vacation. I don't know what I would have done if she wasn't able to be here on Monday. Somehow, I managed to drag myself out of bed on Tuesday and get to work. It was crazy busy, which was good, because every time I stopped for a few minutes I started to realize just how tired I was feeling. By the time I got home I was wiped out. We ended up having ANOTHER ice day on Wednesday, which was nice because I was able to rest up.

I'm back at work again today and happy that things aren't quite as crazy as they were on Tuesday - I'm getting the chance to get caught up on the things I wasn't able to finish.

One thing I realized - being sick can quickly initiate a severe case of boredom. I can only watch so much "Toddlers and Tiaras" and "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Special." So I took pictures of my dog - a lot of picture of my dog.

We spent a lot of time together over the last several days - he was sad when I went back to work.

Pneumonia

2011-02-03T15:02:00.006-06:00

This has been one of the WORST.WEEKS.EVER.

Tuesday morning we got a horrible ice storm here in the DFW area and we woke up to everything being completely covered in ice. The boss sent a text message saying we would be closed because the roads were too dangerous. Wednesday the roads were still pretty bad so we didn't make it in to work again. That day I had been texting with Jenn at work and she asked me if I was feeling okay. I told her I was feeling a little run-down but I would be okay. She said, "You just don't seem like yourself."

That night I developed a horrid cough. I almost couldn't sleep because I was hacking so much during the night. I figured the cold and very dry air had just aggravated something and I would be over it in no time. Thursday morning I got up and got ready for work. I took Rex out and by the time I came back in I was so out of breath it was ridiculous. I had to sit down and catch my breath. I had this weird burning/tingling in my chest but again I figured it was just the dry air and I would be over it soon.

I headed to work still with the same horrid cough, except now it was becoming the "barking" cough. My mom came into work and heard me and knew something was wrong - automatically assuming it was my asthma. I still wasn't too worried about it because this wasn't the same asthma issues I was used to. I didn't have a "tight" chest or wheezing - just the barking cough and a little pain (which I assumed was just irritated from all the coughing). When my mom got off work she went and got me a humidifier for my office. It started helping but I was really happy when the boss came and told us we would be closing up at 3:30 that day.

I was so excited when I got home to plug in my humidifier, crawl in bed, and try and get some rest. Edward had gotten home before me because his job let him go early too. The kids mom came and picked them up because Edward had told her they were going a little stir-crazy and needed a change of scenery.

I fell asleep and woke up Thursday night absolutely terrified. I had a fever, chills, extremely shallow breathing, and my chest hurt when I tried to take a slow deep breath. I told Edward we needed to go to the ER - which is a big deal - I don't even like going to the doctor so a trip to ER meant something was wrong.

Edward had to help me with everything - I was so weak I couldn't do anything - he helped me get dressed, put my shoes on, put my coat on, everything. As soon as I stepped outside and took a breath it burned in my chest. This was something I had never felt before. I got to the bottom of the stairs and Edward had to go back inside. I just sat down on the steps. I literally didn't have the strength to stand there.

We got to the ER and I was surprised how quickly they got me in. The nurse that I saw first was so nice - she said that they had been seeing a ton of asthmatics with the cold weather - but again - I knew this wasn't my asthma. She was going to go ahead and order a chest x-ray to get things expedited for me. They did the x-ray and the doctor immediately came in and told me I had pneumonia. He said my left lung was about halfway "full" and that although he felt they caught it pretty early, it was good I came in when I did. They had us in and out in 45 minutes - by far the fastest ER visit I've ever had.

They sent me home with an antibiotic, steroid inhaler (typical for asthmatics), and liquid hydrocodone.

We stopped at CVS and Edward ran in to get the meds filled while I waited in the car. To add insult to injury (or I should say to add injury to illness) Edward came out of the store and slipped on the ice hitting his head and tail bone. I felt so bad - I wanted to go back to ER but he wouldn't do it.

Because we ended up getting about 6 inches of snow Thursday night Edward ended up not having to go to work on Friday. While I was in the ER I had texted the other Jenn and she told me to stay home and she would get everything taken care of with the boss - so sweet! He was very understanding and didn't expect me to come in.

Friday was by far the worst day of this whole ordeal. Apparently the antibiotic I am on can be rather upsetting to the stomach. Let's just say I spent the better part of the day reliving my early 20s curled up on the bathroom floor.

Saturday Edward had to go back to work so my mom came over and took care of me. God love her she ended up cleaning the apartment and doing laundry - despite my pleas of asking her to stop. She made a trip to the store and picked up some anti-nausea medicine which was a HUGE help! Edward was supposed to pick the kids up from their mom's house when he got off work that evening but about 2:30 I got a call from Marcantoni that his mom would be dropping him off in 20 minutes. I called Edward and he was pissed. She told him that it wasn't her weekend, he wanted to come home, so she was bringing him home. Funny how when she has a "skin rash" she can't watch her children for an entire weekend that was scheduled hers but when I end up at the ER with pneumonia and she can't watch them for a few extra hours - her own children. Whatever. Veronica was at a friend's house so, after arguing with her, I told Edward to just have her drop Marcantoni off. He knew I was sick so he just ended up hanging out in his room playing his video game.

I am feeling a bit better today, I still get tired easy and physical activity is very limited as I get winded, but I am heading back to work tomorrow. It's horrible timing that the week I get hit with pneumonia is the same week the other Jennifer is in Hawaii. What timing?!?!?!

I hope I never get pneumonia again but will know what warning signs to look for next time.

Fort Worth Stock Yards

2011-01-31T10:51:00.007-06:00

Early last week, knowing he wouldn't be working and the kids would be with their mom, Edward asked me, "What do you want to do this weekend?" "Anything, as long as it involves getting out of the house," I replied. He suggested we drive out to the Fort Worth Stock Yards so we could walk around and take some pictures. I hadn't been out there in years and, with a pending beautiful-weather weekend, I was all in.

While we were out there I was able to get some pictures I was happy with.